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Tuesday, December 28, 2010

All Eyes On Us

Today we had to go down to radiation to meet with the radiologist. When I wheeled Jacob into the waiting room all eyes turned to us. Every single person that was waiting was 50 years or older...and then came Jacob. Jacob upset the balance in the room. Some people averted their eyes, others came over to tell Jacob how beautiful his eyes were or ask him if he was up to a wheelchair race. Most of all, everyone had pity in their eyes.

It isn't right that a 5 year old boy has to go through this journey.

Tonight I have had to dwell on some tough decisions. Get the flu vaccination so close to him starting chemo and needing another dose in a month when his body has such a low immunity? Enroll him in a clinical study of Wilm's Tumor that may help, or hinder, his battle? There are no easy answers...and I don't have a clue tonight. I'm exhausted and overwhelmed and don't want to have to make decisions right now.

We are still in the hospital. This is day 9. Luckily, they did take the chest tube out today and we *may* get to go home tomorrow. The best news? The pathology reports show it is Favorable History Wilm's Tumor, which is the "good" kind. Much better statistics with this...70-80% at stage 4.

The overwhelming news? It looks as though he may be starting radiation (and possibly chemo) this Thursday...just two days away. We may be going home tomorrow but we will be back on Thursday. And Friday. And Monday...and so on. He will be having six days of radiation. The chemo will start for six weeks (once a week on an out-patient basis) and then they will check and see how it is progressing. Then maybe another 6-8 months of it. So once we get home we will still need to drive back and forth (we are 2 hours from the hospital) for the next week, and then weekly after that.

I ask for prayers this evening for me to have some answers and peace about the two topics above that I still am not decided on. I plan to sleep on it and hope to wake up with an answer. Tomorrow morning will also mean more scans with the radiologists to pinpoint the treatment, another meeting with the oncologist, and hopefully some discharge papers.

13 comments:

  1. Elizabeth:

    It is good news that the tumor is the "good kind." That really is a positive right now. I am on my way to bed and I will pray for you tonight and when I get up in the morning. You are constantly in my thoughts as I go about my day.

    Martha C.

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  2. Praying! There are many standing with you now! God will give you the right answers. You,Jacob, and your whole family are in the palm of His hand. He knows everything you are feeling and enduring. You are not alone. Prayers and well wishes from Texas.

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  3. Beth,
    That is encouraging news! We will be praying! You and Jacob are in our thoughts and prayers daily. Always better to sleep on a decision then to make a quick decision, especially when your tired and emotionally drained. Your doing a great job, and your a great mom! You write with love, passion and honesty, and that makes it easier to know what to pray and how to pray for all of you!

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  4. Praying for all of you! I could never imagine how it must feel to be faced with such questions. Please know that when I say Im praying,Im Praying. If you don't mind I would like to put Jacob on our prayer list at church?

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  5. So glad that the news was that it's the more treatable kind. I'm praying for your decisions and your peace.

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  6. SO happy for you guys that it is the more favorable type of tumor and praying God will guide you to the right decisions for his treatment. My thoughts are with you and your family.

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  7. Sending prayers your way. Even my four girls are praying for you all. Know that you are not alone. All of Heaven are praying for your Jacob.

    "One thing I am sure of, that the more the enemy rages against us, so much the more will the Saints in Heaven plead for us; the more fearful are our trials from the world, the more present to us will be our Mother Mary, and our good Patrons, and Angel Guardians." - John Henry Cardinal Newman

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  8. You are still in my thoughts and prayers! I wish you peace and your little boy comfort on this journey.

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  9. So glad to hear the tumor is the "good" kind. I'm praying for peace for you and your husband when it comes to making the tough decisions. I read you everyday and have never commented but wanted to let you know my heart is broken for you and your family during this time. I pray God's will be done in each of your lives. Praying and Believing!! ( and remember to F.R.O.G. Fully Rely On God)

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  10. Father I pray that you would be with Elizabeth as she has these decisions to make. Help her to make the ones You want-comfort her & give her peace. In Jesus name I pray. Karla

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  11. Wonderful news about the pathology report. Praying your decisions will be made clear to you. This is such a rough journey but you have so many people in prayer for Jacob,you and the rest of your family. God will see you through dear Elizabeth !! I remind you of the story of the foorprints in the sand.. Jesus carries you through the rough,hard times. It is His foot prints in the sand !! My thoughts and prayers remain with you now and always. Hugs... Kristy

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  12. I have been praying for Jacob. You say you need to make this decision. I would suggest talking to other people. Have another adult (preferably your husband or a parent) with you at all the big meetings and get their opinion, their thoughts, their input. I am sure much of this seems like a blur, (I go through the same thing with big stuff) so it will be helpful to have someone else listen in, maybe even taking notes. You should not be doing this alone. Good luck and glad it is the favorable kind.

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  13. I am so very glad to hear the tumor is the favorable kind. Sending prayers for you tonight as you make these tough decisions.

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