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Friday, December 31, 2010

For Today, I'm Okay

Yesterday was a bad day. I felt hopeless and adrift and alone.

Today is better. I've felt at peace. We haven't made any final decisions about the treatment plans and have actually avoided it today (deciding to get standard treatment or try a few clinical trials). We were going in circles before and just need a break. After two weeks of hell, we needed some normalcy. So today we celebrated our Christmas (which we missed out on with Jacob being in the hospital). We had our Christmas Eve last night and enjoyed watching "Christmas Vacation", eating cookies, and just being together. This morning the kids awoke to presents under the tree and we have spent the day together; watching movies and playing with toys. It felt...well...normal. I have my moments, of course, but overall it has been a wonderful day.

Jacob is thriving being at home. He's had a blast playing with his new toys and being back among his brother and sister. You could hardly tell that this boy had a very intensive surgery not even two weeks ago. He is in his element.

As we ring in a new year tonight I can only breathe a sigh of relief. 2010 was a HARD year. I am glad to be entering a new one. I know that this year will be one of trial and struggles, but I pray that we end 2011 with much better news than 2010 brought. I'm ready for a new year!


  1. Amen to that peace. I am so happy you have had a normal day...I know how precious they are.

    Happy New Year, sweetie.

  2. It was wonderful to read that you had a good day today. I'm sure being home in your surroundings and getting some rest has helped.

    I truly pray that you will have a blessed New Year and that it is filled with hope and miracles.

  3. Oh my gosh, I don't even know what to say. I haven't been to your blog in a few weeks. I was so confused at first. I wasn't sure I was on the right blog. Sadly, I was. :(

    I am so sorry to hear about Jacob's diagnosis. Cancer is the worst, most evil. I will definitely be praying for Jacob. It sounds like he is already proving himself to be a fighter. Much love and hugs to your family!!

  4. I've been praying that your family will have a great "Christmas" in spite of yesterday's news. It sounds like you have had a wonderful day as a family.

    I pray that 2011 will bring you miracles beyond comprehension.

  5. I'm so glad you've had a nice day today, Beth. You certainly deserve it! I wish only the best for all of you :)

  6. So glad you had a wonderful Christmas celebration at home! I'm sure you are enjoying every sweet moment! May you have a happy new year!

  7. So happy you took the time for "Normal" to surround you. You continue to be in my prayers. I too will be glad for 2010 to end. I am praying that the struggles that come to you will lead to a great response for Jacob. Children are so resilient and are so amazing to watch get through the hadrest part of their young lives and bounce back. Soak in each moment andd get out that camera,keep a journal and breathe!! God has you sll in the palm of His hand !! Hugs and blessings... one of your MJF Sisters...Kristy

  8. I've had computer troubles since Thanksgiving and have not bee online, so this is my first time learning about your son's illness. I am praying for you all. I'm glad you were all able to enjoy a Christmas celebration together and glad that you are feeling some peace.

  9. Beth-so glad to hear that you had your day of normalacy! I'm sure Rebecca and Joseph were thrilled to have Jacob with them again! I know it's a blessing for you too, to see all of your children together. Hoping and praying for a peaceful and healthy 2011 for you and your family! jacki



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