Once again, I was bad and went to the grocery store without a shopping list. We were out of toilet paper, milk, and several other necessities and I was just too brain dead to sit down and come up with a list. We spent $79.79 and walked out of the store with barely anything. Since I am mad at myself for not organizing this shopping trip better I am going to make these groceries last all week anyhow and get creative in the kitchen. Serves me right. We are down to $368.05 left for the month and it is just half over.One thing we thrifty people should think about is our children. Are we teaching them the value of a dollar?
I grew up fairly poor. Probably poorer than most of my peers growing up in the 80's and 90's. Being poor means that you didn't get allowances and didn't have money for extras. If we went to the movie theater it was during Christmas vacation when they showed movies free. If we went out to eat it was to Hardees where we would get a hamburger and then a large fries to share with everyone at the table. It means that a stray cat that I claimed as a pet for seven months was dropped off in the middle of the night at a park because your family didn't have money to vaccinate and feed it. It means that if you wanted something extra you paid for it yourself.
From the time I was 8 years old I remember hoarding any money that came my way. The only time I can recall having money of my own is when we had a garage sale and I sold some of my toys or on my birthday when I would typically get about $30 in cash from relatives. I didn't use that money on myself though. I often had a gerbil, guinea pig, or rabbit as a pet and their care was my responsibility. Food and litter costs came from my little stash and I could make that $30 last all year. Occasionally I would go to the rec center with my friend to go roller skating and if I recall correctly it was $1 to get in. Often times I didn't feel like spending the money so told her that I wasn't feeling good or would rather play at a park. I never told my friends that I couldn't afford to go. They all had membership passes after all and could get in whenever they wanted.
I started babysitting when I was 11 years old. I babysat for a 6 month and 2 year old boy every single day for a few hours each day. I couldn't believe it when after two weeks I was given $80 for my work! $80 to me was so much that I was giddy with excitement. I didn't spend the money though, I socked it away to save it for something really important. Soon I had several hundred dollars socked away. At that time my dad had lost his job and been out of work for quite awhile. My parents dreamed about starting a bookstore and after a loan and careful planning they opened one. Being short for something (was it shelving? Moving expenses?) they asked to borrow some money and I handed it over. I don't recall every getting the money back in cash, but my mom would keep a running tab of what they owed and deduct certain things from that tab (a shirt here. a case of pop there. Things I asked her to pick up for me).
Throughout my teenage years I babysat and socked the money away. Once we moved out into the country and I couldn't get to babysitting jobs I started to sell things on Ebay when I needed the extra money. I wasn't ever responsible for my necessities, but stamps, pet food, phone bills, and any extras came out of my pocket.
And you know what? I wouldn't have it any other way. I learned financial responsibility that way. I learned to put my wants before my needs. I learned what is important to buy and what is a waste of money. I learned that just because I had money didn't mean that it had to be burning a hole in my pocket. It was a good thing.
I've had a checking account for 18 years now (yes, I got one when I was 10 years old!) and never once bounced a check or had an overdraft fee. Ever since I had money coming in I've learned to set aside some (or a lot) for savings. I've learned to buy only what I really really want because it is my hard earned money and it better be a purchase that is worth it.
Our children don't get an allowance either. It may change sometime in the future but for now I don't feel the need to pay them to do chores that they should be doing anyway. They do get money from garage sales (Becca made $18 at the last one alone) and occasionally get money for their birthdays. We've recently sat down with them and told them about saving money. We opened a savings account for both of them and they now deposit half of all their money into savings. Already they are learning the value of a dollar. Becca carries her own little purse to garage sales and has been known to exclaim "Why would anyone pay that much for this?" when a tag is marked too much. Quietly, of course. We aren't doing this because we can't afford it, but rather because it is good for them.
And it is. When opening up the bank accounts the kids got a little backpack full of goodies at the bank. In it was a little bank to put their change in. I can already see the wheels turning in their heads about how to fill the bank up. One day they set up a little box outside and put some of their toys inside and had a makeshift garage sale. Neighbor kids actually came and bought items and they deposited the money in their banks. Becca came up with the ingenious idea of looking underneath shelves near the checkout lanes in stores (where most people drop change) and came up with close to $1 at just one store!
Necessity is the mother of inventions! We have some entrepreneurs on our hands!
How has your growing up affected your financial decisions?
Growing up I never realized that my dad and mom sometimes had hard times making ends meet. Dad was in construction so the weather and the economy played a factor in his pay. I nevr felt poor. I am the youngest of four kids and I don't think that my brothers felt the same either. The only time I felt anything was when my mom made me a pair of pants. I wore them to school and one girl made fun of the pants. I never wore them again. I now realize that during the 70's there was a recession and my parents were really having a hard time. My kids are now 18 and 16 and I think that they are pretty good with money. My son, the 18 year old, has had a job since he was 16. He saved enough money to buy himself a car. He is going to college next week and has paid for his own books and part of his rent for his housing. He still has about $6000 in the bank. Not bad for always telling my kids that it is not a bad thing to buy things secondhand or to only buy things if you need them. He still has fun too. He just went golfing with his friends and one of his friends found a coupon for six dollars off their bill. Hopefully his generation and your kids generation will not have the debt that some people have now.
ReplyDeleteBeth
I LOVED THIS POST! I am so in agreement with you on how you approach the kids and money issue. My son learned long ago that looking down at stores, post office, etc. is a goldmine of lost change. It's amazing how easily it all adds up. Love how your kids had their own garage sale too! Your daughter's comment was my favorite part of you post. I would have loved to been there to hear her say that! ;)
ReplyDeleteRose :)
Reading about your financial background was so interesting---I really enjoy posts like this!
ReplyDeleteGrowing up, my family wasn't poor, we were just average middle working class. My mom stayed home with us, so we lived on one income. We didn't get alot of extras, but we always had our needs met. We ate out on special occaisons and my Mom always made birthdays and holidays really special for us, even when on a budget. I was always a good money saver, squirreling away anything I made doing extra chores or babysitting.I can't imagine my parents asking me for a loan as a child!
ReplyDeleteMy childhood has played a big part in the way that I raise my own children now. I try to balance frugality and teaching them the value of a dollar and how to save with also not being such a tightwad that we can't enjoy the present and have little treats now and then "just because". It's a fine line.
You are such an inspiration to me right now...thank you!
ReplyDeleteI still remember the first thing I bought with my own money- a navy and green fall jacket from the Gap. I babysat all summer to buy that jacket for back to school when I was 10 and to this day I still think it's a cute jacket and I'm pretty sure my Mom still has it. I've had a job since I was 16 and I was the only one of my friends in college who had a job- I worked full time the entire time I was in school. When you work full time and go to school full time it makes you appreciate those nights out even more than if you have your parents credit card to throw down at the end of the night! My husband is from the opposite side of the fence as I was on this- part-time job in the summer, parents paid rent and spending money while in college- which they also paid for (I am paying back my own loans). We'll probably fall somewhere in between for our kids, not sure what exactly we're going to do but it will probably be a compromise of both. We both come from upper-middle class families, our parents just had different priorities when it came to jobs and money when it came to their kids.
ReplyDelete