How Does Your Garden Grow?

Yesterday I spent some refreshing time in my garden - weeding. The weather was finally comfortable enough and the bugs weren't bothersome so I caught up on some much needed TLC for my plants. My garden has been a bit of a disappointment this summer. Because of the rain, humidity, and heat my plants have done poorly. Not only because of the fungus, bugs, and wilt but also because I couldn't spend time out there when it was so muggy, rainy, or buggy.

I didn't realize how bad the garden was until yesterday when I went to work in it. The weeds were choking the plants and not letting sunlight in. I spent a good hour weeding and mediating. Weeding, come to find out, is a very relaxing thing where you are able to pull all the bad out of the garden to get down to the sweet fruit.

While I pulled I realized that my garden was a symbol of life. Not just vegetative life - but life in general. We all start out as tender young plants who need loving care. As we grow we become stronger (in our convictions) but are still fragile to attack. The weeds in life are people in our life who we care about who smother us and choke us by leading us on the wrong path. The bugs are those other people who we can't choose whether to have in our life or not but are there regardless (bosses, co-workers, neighbors, etc.) who eat little pieces of our happiness from our life. The storms that can beat down on a plant are those struggles which we all deal with: job loss, marriage issues, illness, money problems, etc.

What plant is the most venerable to the issues above? The young ones that are still growing. As I pulled and tossed those weeds I thought about my children. I realized that weeding my garden was a symbol of why I homeschool. My children are tender little plants right now who are being protected in their "greenhouse". They aren't strong enough to be stuck in the ground in the blaring hot sun to be surrounded by weeds, eaten by bugs, and put through storms.

Are there big issues to deal with in Kindergarten or First Grade? Not major ones; maybe teasing here or a swear word there. Nothing that my children couldn't deal with on their own at the moment. The problem comes from the fact that those weeds sneak up so quickly. They start out with just one or two growing but within a week the garden is covered with them. The first line of defense is to pull the weeds, but some of the damage has already been done. A tender plant or two never fully recovers from being strangled by those weeds, the soil has been damaged by having some of it's nutrients sucked out. The plants will never be as strong or healthy as they could have been. Keeping the weeds at bay from the beginning is far better.

One can far better weather the bugs and storms as well if they are healthy and strong before facing them. A tough, thick tomato plant is going to withstand the hail beating down on it better than a tender, spindly one. My children will deal with issues in their life, but I am not going to throw them out at a young age so that they "get used to it". I will raise them to be strong in their own convictions so that when they are faced with meanness, temptations, or wrongness they will be able to stand up to it, instead of bow to the pressures.

This is not to say that those in public or private schools are hopeless. It just means that they have a lot more weeds, bugs, and storms to deal with and sometimes these things don't make you stronger, but rather make one much weaker. Hence the reason that self-esteem is so low in America's teenagers, and why eating disorders, self mutilation, teen pregnancy, drugs and drinking, and even suicide are all prevalent in our schools today. There is no denying that there is a problem. Some "plants" are strong enough to weather all that and be okay. I don't want to take that chance.

For me, that means fending my children from the wolves until they are old enough to fight for themselves.

This isn't just about children. This extends to us grownups as well. Who and what we choose to have in our life affects us just as much as weeds, bugs, and storms affect my garden. Having hateful negative people in our life can zap us of our own happiness. Hanging around those with completely different morals can make us weaker in our own convictions, or make us begin to see those things as "not so bad".

As a matter of fact, this is a proven theory. It has been said recently that divorce has been proven to be contagious. If you have a friend who is divorced you are 140% more likely to become divorced yourself. Why? Listening to your friend's reasoning for her divorce may make you less satisfied with your own marriage as well as hearing support from your friend for divorcing (i.e. "You don't have to put up with that! I didn't!"). Whereas having a strong circle of married friends can increase your likelihood of not divorcing (i.e. "I know how you feel and you can work through this and have a happier marriage). As sad as the fact is, humans are a little more like lemmings jumping over a cliff together than we would like to admit. We are influenced by our peers and the only way we can better this is to only surround ourselves with those we want to be influenced by.

Little things may sometimes not feel like a big deal at first. Flirting with someone other than our spouse at work (did you realize that the majority of affairs start in the workplace?), watching porn or unhealthy movies, gossiping, being dishonest. Those weeds grow though, and soon we are smothering ourselves with what we have surrounded ourselves with. It is possible to pull out those weeds and start anew sometimes. But sometimes we let those weeds surround us and suck out all of our good and once we realize what happened it is too late. Addictions, ruined marriages, financial failure and more can be the result when the weeds win.

We all have weeds surrounding us. We all have a few weeds within us. I hope to teach my children to nurture their garden and pluck those weeds before they become a problem. And I will continue to remind myself of the same thing.

It had been planted in good soil by abundant water so that it would produce branches, bear fruit and become a splendid vine.'Ezekiel 17:7-9

"Make a tree good and its fruit will be good, or make a tree bad and its fruit will be bad, for a tree is recognized by its fruit.Matthew 12:32-34