My breath literally caught in my throat.
"They will never be happy again."
I read those words on Facebook, written by fellow cancer mom, shortly after Jacob was first diagnosed with cancer. She is an outspoken mama who was trying to explain to her daughter how a couple, who had just lost their son to this terrible disease, would have happy times but never truly be happy again.
What?! Did she know something I didn't know?! My worst fear, as is any parent's, was to lose my son. But to also think that happiness would forever be gone made my stomach clench. Those words never left me, even now that I have faced my greatest fear - losing my own child.
I now know that those words were lies.
This mother hadn't lost her child to cancer. How could she have possibly said those words as truth when she couldn't know.
It's only been three weeks. I'm in the midst of sadness, anger, anxiousness, confusion. But I still see the light. Those words came from a mama who was not a Christian, and I can only imagine how I would feel if I didn't have faith. If I didn't think we all had a purpose on this earth. If I didn't think that I would someday see Jacob again. Maybe I couldn't ever be happy again if that were the case.
I see him all around me. I feel him close by. And I know, that someday, I will hold him in my arms again. That brings me happiness.