I jumped at the chance to review Cleaning House A Mom's 12-Month Experiment to Rid Her Home of Youth Entitlement by Kay Wills Wyma.
As Kay points out, we are raising a "Me Generation". The kids of today feel entitled to what they want and what they have. 15-20 years ago when I was growing up I had chores around the house an worked (babysat outside the home) for my spending money. I didn't get paid for the chores that I did - I lived in the house and was expected to do my fair share.
Yet, now as I'm raising my own kids, I see how the times have changed. My kids think I'm mean when they are expected to do chores. They take their clean, folded laundry for granted. They leave plates and bowls around for me to pick up like some type of servant.
A book about another mother who is in the same place as I am and who solved the dilemma? I needed this book! I love the monthly challenges and how they played out. I have plans of implementing some of them in my own home.
The only thing that I wasn't sure about was how Kay got her children to do their chores. She used a jar for each child and filled it with a dollar per day for the month (so 28-31 dollars). If they did their chore that day the dollars stayed in the jar, if they didn't a dollar was taken out. By the end of the month they got to keep the remaining money in the jar.
The reason I don't know how I feel about this practice is because if you are paying your child money to do something that is their responsibility aren't you just helping along their sense of entitlement? I, as a mother, don't get paid to wash dishes, fold my laundry, or make my bed. Why should my child?
I won't go into my take on allowances here but thought that the money concept didn't really work into the whole idea of banishing youth entitlement. With that said, it was my only gripe with the book and really enjoyed reading about how to get the whole family to pitch in and make the household run.
Disclaimer: This book was sent to me by WaterBrook Multnomah Publishing Group in exchange for my honest opinion. All views expressed are my own.
The book sounds interesting. I agree on the allowance bit, but i'll admit that i've come down to "i'll give you a dollar if you clean the playroom" before as well... *blush* lol!
ReplyDeleteI do give my children certain jobs that they can earn money for. That's usually things "above and beyond" their typical chores. I think that it is important for children to have some spending money of their own so try to come up with things that they can do to earn some.
ReplyDeleteI have 2 children--9 yrs apart. Today they are are 42 and 33. I never made them do chores at all. I was even making their beds til the time they moved out. Why, because I knew that once they were on their own, they would have chores for the rest of their lives. You probably think I raised two spolied brats, buy I didn't. They both worked in high school and college for spending money. We paid everything else such as cars, insurance, clothes etc. Their job was to get good grades which they both did. Today they are both very sucessful in their careers and have made their parents proud.
ReplyDeleteSince we grow most of our food, heat our home with wood we cut, etc., our four daughters know that if they don't help they do not eat or have a warm home which is the same for us as parents. I think that chores are so much harder for children to appreciate and be responsible today then the past because their world does not depend on doing chores anymore. There use to be many children in a family, neither mother or father could get everything done with families that big all alone. Also, we do not survive hand to mouth as in the past. The reason, I believe, my children are such hard workers is that they want to eat and be warm. This may sound harsh, but it was reality through out history. I am in agreement about not having allowances. My parents provided for our needs as do we provide for our daughters needs with some wants thrown into the mix, but they can earn things by going above the daily chore lists. For example, my oldest daughters wanted some fancy hats, they went out to the barn and cleaned the whole thing out by themselves. It was a big job and they earned more than hats for them.
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