I savored the moments when I could watch the kids enjoy the moment with wild abandon. I paused as I hung out my wash to snap the towels to release the wrinkles or smooth my husband's work shirts. I welcomed the warm sun beating on my back as I bent to pull the weeds in the garden or picked the warm raspberries fresh from the bushes.
These were the moments when I was completely at peace this summer...they were few and far between.
This has been one of the worst summers of my life...and one of the best. Best, because I became more aware of these sweet moments. I learned to just be.
Worst because so much happened. My dad lost his job this summer because his employer was not willing to work with the limitations that he has had since his cancer treatment four years ago. He also had skin cancer this summer (but thankfully that was a fairly quick fix with freezing the spot). Watching my parents struggle trying to keep his health insurance has been difficult.
My dear Grandmother was diagnosed this past August with lung cancer which has traveled to her brain. She just finished radiation of the brain to help try to slow that progression but there is no "fix" to this. The fact is, at 83 years of age, my Grandma is fighting this loosing battle and all I can do is watch...and pray. She has an awesome support system and I know that she is in the hands of very capable people but it is tough knowing that someone that I care deeply for may be scared...will be sick...and will be gone sooner rather than later. She is an amazing woman and there will be a big hole when she is gone. And yet, there are those sweet moments when I visit her and sit on the patio and we just talk and laugh and share that I wish I could grab the moment and bottle it up to pull out later when I need them. Because the Lord knows that I'm going to need them. I'm savoring these moments now.
Not to mention other personal issues that have arisen over the summer. Things that seem so trivial now but that looked so big then. This summer has been a whirlwind of stress and sadness.
Even within the darkest of moments there are sweet moments to savor. Friends rallying around you and holding you up, strangers stepping in to show you that good people do exist. This is what I continually try to remind myself...look for the sweetness and you will find it.