My husband and I have also started to notice young people more and more lately. The clothes (or lack of) they wear, the makeup, the way they talk (shuddering at the thought of the language and crudeness of it!) and the basic lack of respect. It's funny because we are only about 10-15 years out of our own teenage years but it is a whole other generation now and I have to say that I'm terrified at what another 10 years will bring for my own children's sake.
My point is that I think parent's have become soft and that the coming generation is a "ME!" generation. When a child starts to complain that I didn't pick out the right treat for them at the store is when I need to step back and re-evaluate the path that we are leading them down. It's a small thing, really, but shows not only a sense of entitlement but also a basic lack of respect.
My oldest has only just turned 7 and I'm only just noticing the patterns that can make a parent turn their children down the wrong path. I haven't raised a teenager but can say that I'm terrified to in this day in age because I do not want my children to be typical teenagers, nor typical adults.
It's my fault that my children have a sense of entitlement. It is my fault that their selfish nature has grown. It is my fault that they don't respect their toys, their elders, or even their family as much as they should. These are all things that we (my husband and I) have noticed and that we have decided to nip in the bud. It is not a defect of my children, but rather a by-product of the generation. It doesn't have to be that way.
I just wonder what each older generation must think as they watch the new generation emerge. I'm only 8 years out of my generation and am shocked at the new one. Do you think each generation is getting better or worse? Can it be changed?
Elizabeth:
ReplyDeleteI have a 17 year old son and a 25 year old son. Both are nice, polite young men and I do believe the reason is that we were and continue to be a close family. Our 25 year old son is married, so dinnertime is my husband, me and our 17 year old son. We enjoy eating dinner together and then our son does whatever - working on projects, does volunteer work and has a few close friends.
The demise of the younger generations, in my opinion, comes from watching a lot of reality t.v. in which teen mom's are glamorized and smoking, drinking to excess, saying the "F" word in every sentence is considered in style. Also, posting pictures on Facebook and You Tube has added to this crazy teen behavior. Perhaps other generations did crazy stuff, but we didn't post it on the internet for all the world to see.
The only reality t.v. show we watch is the amazing race and we watch it as a family.
Lack of respect comes from a generation of parents trying to raise their children as their friends and not seeing them as a parent child relationship.
I am proud that my boys have looked at other kids that drink and smoke and spend the majority of their high school and college years goofing of as being "stupid." My 17 year old son has a part time job, does well in school, volunteers in the community and church and has his own news website in which he writes and covers local news.
Our oldest son is a High School math teacher and coach. He is admired by the staff and students and I know it is because he has a powerful work ethic and high morals.
Many families that I know don't take their teenagers on vacation with them in the summer. Not us. Our boys went on road trips and our youngest still does and we enjoy this family time together.
Anytime the boys complained about something that we "made" them do such as cleaning their room or chores around the house, I would tell them that they needed to have something to tell their therapist when they were in their 30's (joking of course).
I know this comment is a long one, but keep doing what you're doing as a family. Your kids will be better off as adults and will be respectful.
Martha
I think no matter how old you are, you always think the generations that came after you are much worse than the one you grew up in. I take a more positve attitude and think that almost all kids eventually grow up to be responsible adults. Just curious though, what exactly is a typical adult?
ReplyDeleteI agree with having a positive attitude but must say that from what I have seen recently that many of the current young adult generation is not growing up to be responsible adults. The self entitlement issue seems to be the biggest factor.
ReplyDeleteThe "typical adult" stems from what the "typical teens" are nowadays. Not to make a blanket statement but lack of morals, following the crowd, being kind only to those you expect something from, etc. Honestly, there just are not many NICE people out there anymore. We all are too selfish - really. We wouldn't have all this hunger in the world, debt up to our eyeballs, high divorce rates, crime, etc. if we all were just a bit more giving...you know?
Well I have a 19 year old son who is in college and a 16 year old daughter at home. We are a close family. A lot of my kids friends are pretty good kids. But, there are the few that are the exception. Some have the mouth, think that they should get anything that they want. I know people that are your age Elizabeth that are just like todays teenagers. I also agree with Martha's post that adults years ago did things but we just don't know about it because there wasn't any computers to post anything about. There has always been the "good" kids and the "bad" kids. Television does make a difference to a certain degree. I don't think that alot of kids watch tv much anymore. There are too many video games to be played and facebook to be on.We are in a computer society and that is how alot of our problems began.
ReplyDeleteI have had some of the same thoughts as you, Elizabeth. I do think we are definitely in a state of moral decay. Yet, I think we realize it more when we are raising our own children. We realize what we want and do not want for them.
ReplyDeleteI am shocked by what parents allow their children to wear. We really instill modesty here. Yet, should we be shocked? I have many pictures of myself growing up (I am 36) and there is plenty of immodest going on. Things have been like this for about 90 years. I saw pictures of my grandmother that she sent my grandfather in WWII. WOW! They were not modest!!
Anyway, I am glad that you have taken noticed and are going to do something about it. That is what it is going to take!
I had this conversation with my teenager the other day and her reply was, "Your generation raised us". I had to laugh because that is so true.
ReplyDeleteI have to agree with one of the other posters, I think every older generation looks at the younger generation and thinks the same thing. I also believe in the good and think most teenagers grow up to be responisble adults. I did. :)
Good discussion though!
Thank you all for weighing in! I love hearing the responses of others...whether I agree or not!
ReplyDeleteI think Amy hit the nail on the head...I am taking more notice of these things because my daughter has reached the age where I need to start to be concerned with these things. It's never something to worry about until it is YOUR child. :)
My husband and I were married in 1953 and yes, things definitely were better. There were, of course, a small percentage of people who were not living good lives but most families that I knew were solid families and almost everyone I knew when I was growing up ate dinner together as a family every single night and almost every single Mom did not have to go to work and was able to be home when the children came home from school etc. .
ReplyDeleteWe have 6 grown children, 31 grandchildren and are expecting our 14th great grandchild. Three of our daughters have homeschooled their children and taught them godly values. Some of them are now in their teens and early twenties and they are wonderful, godly young people.
One of our daughters sent her children to a Christian day school but transferred them to public school after 8th grade. The youth culture in schools does affect them. The other two sent their children to public schools. Both have been very involved with their children and their church and most of the children are turning out well.
If you could have time traveled the average adult in 1953 forward to 2010 they would have been totally disbelieving and incredibly shocked at the TV, music, clothing, language etc. that is everywhere today. Many parents today have grown up with this culture and see it as "normal". Children will not grow up to be good responsible adults unless their parents instill good values in them, discipline and love them and set healthy boundries.
Blessings,
Mary