I am planning on doing away with Sunday postings as I would love one day of total rest, but wanted to revisit my post from last week on marriage. Things are much better this week. Hubby and I sat down and discussed all of our issues and we are working on them. I think sometimes we get too complacent in our relationships and ignore little problems until the molehill really does become a mountain. It isn't a bad thing to get to a place in your marriage where things have to change, as long as you are willing to change. Marriages evolve through the years and things do change as you grow up, have children, have more children, have a stressful job or situation, and more. And that is what I am learning...our marriage is evolving and will become even stronger because of it.
I appreciate all your kind words and the wonderful and encouraging notes (thank you so much, Dee and Kathy). As I stated last week, I do contemplate where to draw the line at personal stuff on my blog. I don't want to air all my dirty laundry. But at the same time, I want to be real. I want all my readers to know that my marriage isn't perfect and that my children aren't perfect and that I am not the perfect mom, but that it is okay as long as we continue to strive to do our best. As Robin mentioned in my comment section under last weeks post, sometimes it is a good thing to let others (or even your own children) know that your marriage has it's ups and downs. It shows that it is a normal part of marriage and that you can disagree but still be a team. And we are still a team.
Edited to add: Check out the comments for an interesting discussion.
P.S. This will be my last Sunday post (unless I have something really important to say). I will continue my other regular scheduled posting though!
I'm happy to hear that you will get your marital problems sorted out. Marriages change because we change. Nobody is the same person today that they were when they got married. Add in everyday life stresses and sometimes things get hard. Just curious but if you (or anyone reading this) had to name 5 things that can put stress on a marriage, what would they be? Mine, in no particular order, would be children, money issues, stressful job, not enough time spent together (dates, weekend get-a-ways) and not enough good sex.
ReplyDeleteThat is a good question! For me, in order, are:
ReplyDeleteNot enough time together
Different sex drives
Children
Stress about housework
Lack of communication
For me, in order:
ReplyDeleteBeing tired
Stress about money
Not enough time together
Children
Forgetting to "not sweat the small stuff"
Though, aside from the flat out being tired, I think everything can be resolved and possibly even avoided in the future with better communication. I attribute one of the biggest changes in our relationship to much better communication.
Elizabeth- Again, great post! So happy you and hubby were able to find time to sit down and work things out! You are so right about that molehill turning into a mountain. My hubby always tells me that if something is bothering me I need to speak my mind so it doesn't build up. I have gotten better and can say it's definitely helped avoid those huge fights we used to have about the stupidest things. Here's to you and your hubby being on your way to another one of the "ups" in the roller coaster!
Elizabeth, I think all relationships, not just marriages, go through similar cycles...it just so happens that when you are so tied to someone such as a spouse (or child), these 'changes' are more prevelant in your daily life. I am so glad you are talking/blogging about it and that you and your husband are working on things! We are all WIP's!
ReplyDeleteOh, and I will continue on with relationship stressors:
-Not enough time (either apart or alone...we are always together, but we always have the kids)
-Not enough listening, too much talking
-Unwillingness to compromise sometimes, we are both stubborn in our ways (I think this routes from neither of us having much guidance or 'rules' growing up and basically always did what we wanted to do)
-DEFINITELY housework disputes...he THINKS he does it ALL when he does 2 loads of laundry (Uggh)
-Insecurities (Me over my looks...Him with his lower level of education than I have)
But, I think we have gotten around most of these issues, as hard as it has been and continues to be...there is ALWAYS something to compromise over!
Thanks again Elizabeth for opeining this up for discussion!
For me, issues would be:
ReplyDelete*Inlaw problems
*Husband bringing home stress from work
*Not enough meaningful conversation
*Not enough help with the kids
*Not enough kissing
Thanks for bringing up this topic. It is hard to talk about marriage sometimes and be honest and say that it is alot of work most of the time. I am glad that yours is doing better. With Valentines Day coming, I have been trying to think of ways to show my husband how much I love him every day. We may have our issues now and then, but he's a keeper! :)