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Wednesday, November 14, 2012

Money/Mommy Wars

In my circle of stay-at-home moms I've gotten a bit of startled silence when mentioning that I got a part-time job. I've received a couple comments on my blog, and even an e-mail stating "You've proven yourself wrong - a family apparently can't live comfortably on a limited one income budget."

I think it hits on all sides of the "mommy wars": stay-at-home vs. working, one income vs. two when someone who is a self-proclaimed stay-at-home mom living comfortably on ( a smallish) one income mentions getting a job.

I partly did it for my sanity; when you go weeks without talking to another adult other than your husband or mom you realize that you need a social circle, even if it is just co-workers at a job that you don't particulary like. A change of pace in your day can also help your sanity, especially when your days start to remind you of the movie "Groundhog Day". My hours correspond with my husband's so the children are not in day care or having babysitters (not that there is anything wrong with that, but it's not financially smart to work a minimum wage job just to pay babysitting fees for 3 children).

I can say without a doubt that I am not doing this because we couldn't make ends meet. This is a seasonal job and will end before the baby is born. With medical bills this year and a heafty co-pay for my prenatal care due in a few months the extra money won't hurt, but we could have managed these bills without the extra money. It would mean stretching our pennies a little tighter for awhile but I figured that since this was a perfect time to work for a few months before the baby was born, get myself through winter without being stuck inside 24/7 (does anyone else here have SAD?), and get ahead on bills I decided that a seasonal job was the perfect solution.

It's funny to say that getting a job wasn't really a financial decision, as we were doing okay before.

I spoke with HR and got my hours cut to a reasonable amount and my schedule looks more manageable the next few weeks. Those are the hours I wanted in the first place!   


  1. Girl!! And as one mom to another...You should not have to defend your decision to work be it part time, seasonal, or full-time! I have 2/3 special needs kids so I don't work, but a friend of mine has a daughter with the same condition as mine and she says work is her break from it all...I am going to school (although the classes are online) but I felt like I needed something else to focus on while being present for my kids as need be! Just take care of yourself and your sweet babies and if people judge you, realize you are doing it for sanity's sake! Hugs

    Sarah From NM

  2. There is NOTHING wrong with wanting to work a few hours a week being a SAHM. I myself work full time, but I would never look down on anybody who went to work for sanity. I understand that completely. I wish I could stay at home somedays, and other days I am glad I can escape the house for awhile. Nobody has the right to criticize you (albeit silently. Go for it, work a few hours, get some sanity, get ahead a little financially, and hey Christmas is coming! I also suffer from SAD - significant SAD was the diagnosis - so I completely understand :)

  3. I was an at home mom for 19 years. I can relate to wanting to get out for awhile. You need to do that for your own sanity. No one realizes it until it happens to them, but when you finally get out you realize that there is another world out there. Like you said even if you don't like your co-workers, it is something different than your husband and mom. You are your own person and don't worry what other people are thinking. Do what you need and want to do.


  4. Good gracious!! I can't believe you'd get comments like that! What is wrong with people?! We live on a lower single income, but I bring in extra money from sewing/photography because it helps & allows us extra little luxuries (and even better, blessing others!!) that we otherwise wouldn't have, or be able to do very much. Simple as that!

  5. hick child wrecks havoc on a budget even the bes trimmed and padded at least in our area, what i spend in gas for crisis periods is sicking in itself, your just coming out of full lock down through hosital isolations etc and to ook at the cusp of winter a newborn and homeschooling, yeah this is one of those situations that gettng that seasonal partime job was as improtant as cleaning those toilets and making sure life is moving along...good luck christmas and retail...thats the real deal survive that and well you can anything!



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