So That's What It's Like...

Have you ever seen the headlines on magazines at the newsstands that declare "She Does It All!" about a mommy celebrity, such as Angelina Jolie or another one of the 'super mommies'? Whenever I see an article like that I just roll my eyes - after all, it's easier to be a mommy when you have someone doing all your cooking and cleaning, as well as much of your childcare for you. How can you 'do it all' when you aren't doing it all?

I was right about it being easier. While this is the most stressful time in my life, it has been made easier by the generous people filling our freezer and fridge with food. Family, neighbors, and strangers have stopped by with casseroles and soup. Ben's workplace has supplied us with enough food to feed an army. Besides heating up food, I have not had to cook in 4 weeks. This has been such an amazing blessing.

And the cleaning. Every day that my mom has watched the other two kids while Jacob and I have run to appointments and treatments, I have come home to a clean house. Not just a clean house, but an organized one. Today (as well as last Friday) my mom and a friend were busy little bees in the house...laundry was done, dishes were washed, the playroom was cleaned, the carpets were vacuumed, sheets washed, and so on. I can't tell you how relaxing it is to come home from a long day of driving and treatments to a clean and inviting place.

Because to be quite honest, if someone else wasn't doing these things for us right now they wouldn't be getting done.

I have gone to the grocery store twice in the past month - both times just to load up on things that I know that Jacob will eat as he hasn't been eating much at all. Ice cream, toaster strudels, and pizza rolls may not be very nutritious, but they are some of the only things he is hungry for right now and they at least get calories into his little body. Radiation can really change the taste of food, or even make it tasteless. Jacob seems to be hungry but once he puts food in his mouth he spits it back out and declares it "yucky". So I feed him whatever he wants right now. Those foods, along with Carnation Breakfast Essentials are keeping this boy going. I was able to rush through the grocery store and grab what he wanted without much thought. Had I needed to plan a menu, write out a list, and actually gone grocery shopping in this past month I would have failed. It is something that requires too much thought and creativity and I am not in "that place" right now. Bless my husband, but he couldn't cook to save his life and his grocery store attempts end in one bag of junk food that costs $50. Not having to think about food, but still getting fed, is awesome. One of the biggest chores for a mother is feeding the troops so having this load taken off of me at the moment is incredible.

Cleaning is the last thing on my mind. Driving close to 4 hours a day and spending an hour (on a good day) or more at appointments leaves me exhausted. The few days that we have had at home have not found me scrubbing floors or deep cleaning. Again, my husband is a great guy...but he doesn't notice the things like crayons all over the floor, or the piles of laundry needing to be put away, or the bathtub toys thrown all over the bathroom floor. These little messes pile up when you have two children and pets at home and mommy is away. Instead of cleaning I rather wanted to cuddle with my two children that I was away from for ten days. I wanted to make sure I had all of Jacob's medications administered on time. I wanted to sit by Jacob on the couch and watch his favorite cartoons. Cleaning meant nothing to me. And yet it means everything. A clean home is relaxing, inviting, comforting. So while the last thing on my mind was cleaning, one of the things I needed was a clean home.

It's true, it's easier to be a good mommy when you don't have to do the cooking or cleaning. Thanks to everyone for helping me be that good mommy. Now I know how those super mommies do it all - someone does it for them!