"My Hair is Falling Out"

That is what Jacob told me today, in a whisper, as we lay in bed for a mid-afternoon rest. I turned towards him and saw his fist full of strands of hair.

"My hair is falling out." It was said matter of fact, with a bit of fascination really. I had prepared him for this day. He has seen other bald children at the hospital. The first time he saw a little girl his age with no hair I brought the topic up afterwards for discussion by saying "That little girl looked kind of funny without hair, huh?" He shook his head and said "She didn't look funny." I explained how the medicine he will be getting will make his hair fall out but that it would grow back in once the medicine stopped.

And yet, while we both know that his hair is starting to fall out, we both are putting off cutting his hair short in preparation for it. I almost got the nerve up yesterday after cutting Joe's hair...but just couldn't bring myself to do it. Because I know it will be quite some time before I see hair on his head again. I asked him today after he noticed his hair falling out if he would like me to cut his hair "Maybe tomorrow" he answered.

We are both holding onto his hair for as long as we can. As long as he has hair he isn't recognized as "the kid with cancer". People glance at him in his wheelchair in the halls of the hospital but they don't know why he is in there. Soon everyone will know, just by looking at him. I think even this 5 year old boy senses this, as he puts off cutting his hair for another day.