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Friday, April 6, 2012

Pity the Fool

One thing I can't stand is self-pity. It runs rampant, especially on social outlets such as Facebook. It comes across as whining, annoying, and self absorbed. No one wants to attend a pity party.

I've come to find out that life isn't so much about the situations that we are put in but rather our attitudes. The Debbie Downers who complain about everything in their life are making themselves miserable when someone with the same circumstances who goes through life with a positive attitude let those same things slide off their back and enjoy life, no matter what comes.

Yesterday I reached my breaking point, when after 6 days in the hospital we were told it would be 4 more until Jacob would be discharged. I didn't want us to have to be in the hospital on Easter...again. I didn't want to be stuck in this jail hospital any longer. I became angry and started to have a pity party for myself. I posted a post on my personal Facebook page and then cried in the bathroom. I then figuratively slapped myself across the face and told myself to calm down. It is what it is.

I couldn't change the situation but I had every opportunity to change my attitude. I decided that it would be best to leave Jacob's bedside (which I have sat next to for 6 days) to find a place to clear my head. I took a drive to the local mall and walked around, getting some much needed exercise in. I tried on a few pairs of jeans and some shirts, which were badly needed as I only remembered to throw one shirt into our bag as I packed in a rush on Saturday evening. I listened to the music drifting from the stores and people watched. I swallowed down tears as I passed an older man sitting on a bench, wishing that my dad had been allowed to reach that age. I then held back chuckles as I exited a store a short time later and saw this man still sitting on the bench as I realized his perfect ivory coloring reminded me of a corpse. It was a weird reaction, and maybe a bit morbid, but the thought that maybe I was losing it a bit made me feel better in an odd way.

Just changing my attitude made my day a whole lot better. I arrived back at the hospital refreshed and was welcomed by a happy little boy who had made Easter crafts to decorate the room while I was away. It was a win-win situation.

Sometimes what we think is going to happen turns out to not be as bad as we once thought. We were told this morning that instead of Monday we are now being discharged today. Jacob will be going home on antibiotics and IV nutrition. We will have to watch closely to make sure the fever doesn't return (and now monitor a spot on his leg which started out as a scratch but now has a big red bump on it...hoping the redness does not increase) but we get to spend Easter at home as long as it continues to go well!!

My mantra is the Serenity Prayer, which many people know the beginning to but don't often hear the prayer in it's entirety.

God, give us grace to accept with serenity

the things that cannot be changed,

Courage to change the things

which should be changed,

and the Wisdom to distinguish

the one from the other.

Living one day at a time,

Enjoying one moment at a time,

Accepting hardship as a pathway to peace,

Taking, as Jesus did,

This sinful world as it is,

Not as I would have it,

Trusting that You will make all things right,

If I surrender to Your will,

So that I may be reasonably happy in this life,

And supremely happy with You forever in the next.


~Reinhold Niebuhr


  1. You are inspiring. Sending prayers, and well wishes to you and your family! Happy Easter.

  2. I know the feeling of being in a hospital room with gravely ill loved ones hoping to find peace in the unfairness and heart ache. I at many times cried in a public bathroom so not to bring it into the room but when talking to my son's now they recall some of their best memories of how I made those holidays reflect what really matters - being together in love and in the moment. I stand with you and please no sometimes a small pitty party for real reasons is a way to heal and see the light...

  3. You are definitely an inspiration and a wake up call. Thanks fos sharing this with us...you have blessed me. Jacob, and your family continue to be in my prayers. HUSGS

  4. I've been praying for you and your family. I've been reading your mom's posts(facebook) and both of your blogs. I will continue to pray that God will supply all your needs and grant you the ability to see you daily blessings.

  5. Remember, sometimes a good cry is needed. It gives you a chance to get things out and when you are finished you have the strength to go on.

  6. Thinking of all of you also...read your blog for a while now. I will say a prayer tonight for your family. And wish I could do more.

  7. I think you did the right thing removing yourself from the frustration for a few minutes. You came back with a positive attitude to be rewarded with a positive outcome. I'm happy for you guys you'll be spending Easter at home!



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