Mrs. Manners

Has anyone else noticed that manners are falling to the wayside with this generation? Or maybe it happened a few generations ago.

All I know is that it is rare to see doors opened for the elderly or people with their hands full. It is rare to see one give up a seat for someone older. And it is all too common to see people texting when they should be present at the conversation in front of them. Kids acting foolish and damaging others property in the name of "fun". And the list could go on. I don't know when it started or how it happened but so few have actual manners these days.

When I worked putting the books up at Walmart I had the chance to observe several people. I heard teenage boys yelling out to a young mother "Hot Sexy Mama" and I heard a group of girls saying over and over again in very loud voices "Paging Mr. Penis". Who knows what it meant but it was rude, annoying, and totally uncalled for. I've seen people walk through doors without thinking of the person behind them. The list goes on and on.

It's funny, but the only place that I have noticed actual manners was at our local farm & supply store. The door is always held open for me and the kids if someone goes before us. When I have been lifting the 50 lb. bags of dog food into the cart I have had several men grab the bag out of my arms to put it in the cart for me. Not completely necessary as I can lift 50 lbs. myself, thank you very much, but it is the thought that counts. I'm not sure what makes that store different, maybe it is that the majority of shoppers there are older men who went through the generation that had manners.

My rant for today is close to my heart though. Thank You Notes and RSVPs. If you are invited to a party or other gathering the only polite thing to do is call ahead to let the hostess know if you are coming or not. I've had the experience of hosting events where very few people show up and it would have been nice to know that ahead of time. So, please, always remember to RSVP if you are invited somewhere. Give them notice as far in advance as possible. And don't get me started on Thank You notes! It is said that you do not have to mail a thank you note if you thanked a person to their face for their gift. I agree. But if you did not have the opportunity to thank someone for their gift (your party was either too crowded so you weren't able to personally speak to everyone or you received a gift through the mail) it is just plain rude not to mail a thank you note. While I think late is better than never, a thank you note is usually sent within three months of receiving the gift. And many manner articles will state not to even use a gift until a thank you note has been sent.

While I do not give gifts in order to receive a thank you note, I always feel like my gift was not appreciated if I don't hear a thing from the one I sent the gift or money to. We sent birthday cards and money to our teenage nieces for several years, never once hearing if they received it. The parents never mentioned a thing to us and no thank you was ever spoken or received. It got to the point where my husband said "Why bother?" and we stopped sending them gifts. If you never send thank you notes a gift giver will eventually give up on wanting to give you a gift. I like giving gifts. I love watching someone as they open up a gift or like knowing that the cash I send can help buy a little trinket for a newlywed's home or help buy something that a recent graduate needs or wants. But if that person doesn't even acknowledge that they received the gift or appreciated it than it isn't so much fun anymore.

Remember your manners, as your mama (or was it your Grandmother?) used to say!