Today marks 25 days in the hospital and it seems there is no end in sight. Jacob is still slowly being weaned off the morphine. He isn't eating much at all (two bites of watermelon and some juice yesterday - everything tastes yucky to him), he's sleeping all day, and his platelets won't stay steady - he's been needing transfusions at least every other day and now his urine is dipping for large amounts of blood. This is probably due to his low platelet levels but they are now sending samples out for testing for infections. The doctors now say that instead of letting his platelets drop to 15 before transfusion they are raising it to 30, which means he will probably need another transfusion today.
Which means we probably won't be going home for quite awhile.
I won't lie, it's tough. Extremely tough. To be away from home so long, to be separated from two of my children, to see my husband for about two hours in the past 25 days, to watch Jacob get bored out of his mind and hear him ask every day when we get to go home and have no answer. It's tough.
Yet it is what it is. It is just another ordeal in this journey called cancer and we hope, pray, and beg that this is the last of the journey. That we can depart from this crazy cancer train after this hospital stay once and for all. A mother will do anything for her child and will do it willingly, no matter how hard it is. Because it is what it is. It's a battle that needs to be fought.