Let Go

Day 4 of chemotherapy is finished and Jacob is doing well, albeit a bit of nausea has creeped in today. I'm beginning to get anxious about tomorrow, knowing that we will find out the results of the scan. I'm trusting God to carry us through whatever comes but I can't help but worry as the time draws nearer.

Worry is a funny thing. It does nothing but rob us of the present. I'm trying my darnedest to let go and let God and I've amazed even myself with how well I've dealt with the past four weeks after receiving the news of the nodules in Jacob's lungs, not knowing for four weeks what we are dealing with. I really didn't know how I would react but I was able to put it into God's hands. Even now, amidst my anxiety, I still continue to feel that sense of peace deep within myself. I just have to dig deep within when the anxiety creeps in and know that the Lord is our shepherd. He is so much bigger than this.

Does that trust make the worry completely disappear? No. It just makes it a whole lot better and completely manageable. I trust.