Not Me! Monday

We live in a small town where our grocery store has "baggers". They bag your groceries, follow you to your car, and load the groceries in your vehicle. Typically they are teenage males. So it was not I who was in the middle of a conversation about the weather (they seem to have a one track mind; all their conversations are about the weather) when I commented that the trunk must be stuck on our car. I did not repeatably click the key fob trying to get the trunk open, as the bags in the bag boys arms seemed to get heavier, then loudly remark that the battery in the key fob must be dead.

I did not suddenly have the revelation that this wasn't my car and turn wildly around to see my car parked in a completely different area of the parking lot. I didn't stumble over my words as I announced that "Gee, this is the wrong car" as I backed slowly away from the almost identical car (why did I not notice that the car I was trying to steal had a spoiler on the back when ours doesn't?!) only to have a lady laugh at me across the parking lot and yell "At least I'm not the only one who does that!" drawing several stares my way.

On the long trek to my car I did not mumble to the bag boy that I didn't typically drive my husband's car to the store and that I did typically park in the area that the other car was in, trying to make him understand only to have him give me quizzical side way looks.

When I reached my car I did not pop the trunk and loudly proclaim that "You have to admit that the cars look similar." I did not stop and stare at him until he admitted that they did. I was not totally relieved when he finished loading my groceries and hightailed it away from the crazy lady back into the store so that I could slide behind the wheel of the car to hide my red face.

It wasn't later that week that I was at our local Wal-Mart, wondering what the smell was throughout the store. I did not, of course, realize at the end of the shopping that it was me. There is no way that I walked around smelling dog poo that was on my shoe! Nope, not me!!