That got me to thinking, "Do you or your husband have rules about bars? Are they acceptable/unacceptable in your family?"
We have no rules about bars as it's never been an issue for us. Neither Ben nor I have any desire to go to one. Ben went occasionally when he was single, but preferred to just get together with friends at home to socialize. We went together once, with several people from work, but found the environment to be awkward. People were either awfully drunk and acting stupid or flirting with one another (and even sitting on each others laps), even when married. The whole bar atmosphere seems to be a place to get attention or pick someone up. Your thoughts?
I don't know that I agree about the whole atmosphere being to get attention or pick someone up... that really depends on the bar, I'd say. That said, we don't have any "rules" in our home about bars either, and it really isn't an issue. There is a small local bar that my husband and his buddies will go to probably once a year to watch a football game and eat some "bar food," and that's not at all a problem with me. (I went along once, and there is definitely not the feeling that it's a place to pick up or meet someone.) And, the wings there are awesome! As in, we order them for carryout during football season and our 6 year old will ask if we're "going" there when he knows we're watching a game. ;)
ReplyDeleteWell, my husband and I met at a bar, so how many rules does that break? It was in college at least when going to bars was the thing to do.
ReplyDeleteAnyway, we don't have cable tv. When big game is on tv that my husband really wants to watch and we don't get it (once or twice a year at most), he will go to the "bar", which is really a restaurant with a bar area, to watch the game. Sometimes he takes our son with him, sometimes he meets a friend, sometimes we all go. Of course we aren't there in the wee hours of the morning with the drunks, so I don't see it as a big deal.
My husband and I didn't go to bars much at all in the past, but since we've moved to a big city where we live in the heart of everything, we often meet with friends or go just the two of us on a date to get drinks at one of the many, many bars within walking distance of our house. I think bars, like restaurants (or bar/restaurants), are so varied in atmosphere, type, crowd, etc. that it's hard to speak generally to all of them. We don't have rules about going to bars, but we do respect one another by always letting each other know where we are, if we're out somewhere with friends, etc. The downside to bars is that I do believe they can be a bad habit, an easy way to "get out" that doesn't involve doing anything beyond drinking and sitting around. In moderation, I think it's fine though, as long as the bar you're going to is one that's comfortable and appropriate for you.
ReplyDeleteGosh, cultural difference here. In England a pub is obviously not like a bar at all except that they are all different too. In fact I am off to a pub quiz tomorrow with some female friends. We will have a drink (non alcoholic as we will all be driving), a gossip and enjoy the quiz. I have no problem with my husband going to the pub with a friend or his brother. He doesn't get drunk, they don't leer at women and he comes home having had a relaxing evening out and a pint. No harm in that. Neither of us do it often (maybe once a month) so I just see it as a way of socialising.
ReplyDeleteJane
Hmmm Interesting question. I have no problems with my husband going to a bar. I have no problems with my husband drinking if I'm not with him, as long as he's not going to be driving home! A couple weeks ago I sent him on a weekend golfing trip with a couple of his buddies (both married) It was obvious they would be spending some evenings in a bar, and possibly drunk. He's a grown up, and can take care of himself and make his own decisions. I know he's not going to do anything stupid, (well, there was that time a few years ago when he sleep-walked out into the hallway of the hotel...in his underwear...and woke up when the door slammed behind him. I've seen the security tape, it's hilarious!) and I'm secure enough in our relationship to know he's not going to mess around with any women. He also trusts me to go out with the girls, though I don't remember the last time I actually did! I'm too tired for that now. It's pretty rare that we do actually go out without each other. Our lives are just too busy, and we are each other's best friend. What better person to go out with than your best friend?
ReplyDeleteWe have never had a rule about not going to a bar or going to a bar. I guess we would prefer to socialize at a restaurant with friends or after church or in our homes.
ReplyDeleteBars can be loud so it is not conducive to have much of a conversation in one. Also, the bars in our town are not exactly the greatest place to hang out.
When my husband gets off work, he wants to come home and stay home for the evening. It has never been an issue with us.
I don't mind if my husband goes to a bar. He's a grown up and when we met he was a bartender. That said, he doesn't go very often, maybe 1-2x/yr when he's going out with the guys to a concert but they are much more likely to go to a restaurant-type place than a typical bar. I think we both feel a little too-old and over the bar scene.
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