It's a Funny Thing

Grief.

Sometimes I'm okay. There are small moments I am able to enjoy:

Amy's chuckles

Joe's antics

A joke Becca tells me

One moment I can be smiling, or talking, or just feeling okay and then it hits. I feel the smile fade off my face. My throat clinches. The breath is sucked from me.

Seeing anything Star Wars in a store

Hearing a song on the radio that explains it all

Seeing an 8th birthday party on Facebook where the boys are all happy and  healthy

Finding a random piece of Jacob's clothing in the laundry basket

Seeing family pictures of others and knowing that ours will never be complete again

The list could go on and on. Sometimes it is the littlest thing that can hit me like a ton of bricks.

                                      (The balloon release at Becca's grief camp)

Grief; it's a funny thing. It's not funny at all. 

Silent Sunday - Yummy

Trim Healthy Pancakes

I'm still working on the Trim & Healthy Mama plan. Not every single meal, mind you. I am too exhausted to totally switch up things completely right now. It's mind boggling how exhausting grieving is, along with caring for three other children when all you want to do is stay in bed. 

We've tried a few recipes that we didn't like. Spaghetti squash instead of spaghetti noodles were not a hit. The Broccoli Cheese Soup wasn't great either. One absolute hit was the Trim Healthy Pancakes (an E meal). We enjoyed these more than traditional pancakes and I could eat these several times a week! 

Place one cup of Old Fashioned Oats into blender and blend into a powder. Add 1 cup egg whites and 1 cup low-fat cottage cheese. Add 2 tsp. baking powder, 2-3 tsp. Truvia, and a dash of vanilla (I just added a few drops of NuNaturals stevia vanilla mix. Blend well.

Heat nonstick griddle or pan to medium temperature. Spray with a bit of oil or slight amount of butter. Ladle mix onto skillet and spread batter out a bit. Once bottom is golden brown and bubbles appear on top, flip and brown other side. 

You are allowed to have 1/3 of this batter, so about three average size pancakes. This was plenty to fill me up. Instead of butter or syrup I topped them with plain yogurt and thawed berries. These were delicious and both Becca and Joe came back for seconds and thirds!

 

The Duty Of Delight Edited by Robert Ellsberg

The Duty of Delight; The Diaries of Dorothy Day Edited by Robert Ellsberg

I'm not quite sure what to say about this book as I just wasn't able to get into it and quit about half way. I think my problem is that I don't know enough about Dorothy Day (she helped establish the Catholic Worker, which was a community to aid the poor and homeless) to begin with. Had I been a big fan of hers I would have enjoyed reading her diary entries. So for anyone who has enjoyed studying Dorothy Day or wants to know more about her work this would be an interesting book but for those wanting to get to know her I think a biography would be better suited.

Disclaimer: This book was given to me by WaterBrook Multnomah Publishing in exchange for my honest opinion.

Bread & Wine by Shauna Niequist

If you are cookbook reader like me, I know that you will enjoy the book Bread & Wine by Shauna Niequist. The book is a collection of stories with a recipe at the end of each chapter. I love reading about another person's journey to cooking, why they choose each recipe, why certain recipes are special to them, etc.

Just her way of writing is delicious. For example, the paragraph on the back cover alone made me pick up this book and read it:

"My prayer is that you'll read these pages first curled up on your couch or in bed or in the bathtub, and then after that you'll bring it to the kitchen with you, turning corners of pages, breaking the spine, spilling red wine on it and splashing vinegar across the pages, that it will become battered and stained as you cook and chop and play, music loud and kitchen messy."

That right there is a perfect review of her book. It was warm and comforting, delicious and thirst quenching. While the majority of recipes were not ones I would try (the Breakfast Cookies on page 116 sound divine though!) I enjoyed it as a book and would recommend it!

Disclaimer: This book was given to me from BookSneeze in exchange for my honest opinion.
 

Escape Monthly September Box Review - Oregon

Escape Monthly is a new subscription box which is a "vacation in a box". Each month is a different destination and one lucky subscriber, who finds the "golden ticket" (not really golden, of course!) in their box that month actually wins a trip to that destination!

Last month was their very first box and was a "Napa Valley" one. I didn't enjoy it much. Not that it wasn't a great spa box, because it was, but it didn't scream "Napa Valley!" to me. This box, the Oregon one, was much put together much better since it features almost all products exclusively made in Oregon. Now that is what I wanted when I subscribed.

Can I say that I really, really, really wanted to win the trip this month, since Oregon has been on my husbands "go to" list forever? At least I feel like we got a taste of Oregon. :)

Included in the September box was:

*Doug's Nuts ($5.95). A blend of almonds, cashews, hazelnuts, pecans, walnuts, peanuts, and pumpkin seeds. I can't wait to try this for a healthy snack!

*Grounds for Change Peru "Café Femenino" whole bean coffee ($10.45). Organic and fair trade.

*Moon Oregon Travel Guide ($21.99). I will actually save this and hopefully use it to bookmark a trip there!

*Oregon Rain Soap - Portland Rose Lotion ($8.99). This is made with real Oregon rain! Can't wait to try it!

*Portland Bee Balm ($2.75). Made by hand at the home of its owners! Love these natural, small home business health and beauty products.

*Molly Muriel Volcanic Bliss bar soap ($6). Great for trouble skin - this will be wonderful for most of the family members here!

*Bonus Item was a wooden pumice brush ($5.99)

*Oregon Orchard Cherry Chocolate hazelnuts ($3.29). These sound sooo good, can't wait to try them!

*Primitive Lights Beeswax Cinnamon Roll Votive ($4). Handcrafted in the heart of Oregon. This smells delightful!

*Metolius Tea and Apothecary tea tin ($10). Coconut, lavender, and raspberry. This will make for some before bed brew time. :)

I really loved this box and got a good taste of Oregon through it. This is one of the more expensive subscription boxes at $49.95 a month but I feel this little "get away" is worth it! You can use the code TROPICALESCAPE to get 20% off at Escape Monthly. Next month is Hawaii and I can't help but feel it will be awesome.

Disclaimer: Referral links included.
 

Trim Healthy Mama

I have heard a lot about the book Trim Healthy Mama by Serene Allison and Pearl Barrett. All of it was positive. I hesitated at the $35 price tag because I never pay that much for a book! At over 500 pages I knew it was a wealth of information though. Finally, I saved enough Swagbucks up that I was able to purchase an Amazon gift card to help pay for it.

It arrived yesterday and I dug right in. This book is not about another fad diet or eliminating huge groups of food. It's just about eating sensibly.

The basis is that our primary fuel sources are fats and glucose but that both should not be eaten all in the same meal. That if you stick to one or the other you body can burn through that one fuel and then attack your fat afterwards. The book goes into much more detail on it but basically, you can mix and match your meals throughout the day but there is Satisfying meals and Energizing meals to choose from (better known as S or E meals). 

I flipped through the recipes and loved what I saw - new recipes that sounded doable and yummy! I started the change today and hope to see how it goes for one month. I haven't been starving and have been quite satisfied. 

For breakfast I had two simple fried eggs and a cup of coffee (S meal)

For lunch I had two pita breads with tuna and mayo (S meal)

For supper I made a simple side salad and Fooled Ya Pizza (from their cookbook). The picture below does not do it justice (I snapped it while holding a baby and two hungry children hovered at my elbow!). 

You'll never believe that pizza crust is not made with flour but rather CAULIFLOWER! Yep, I thought it sounded disgusting at first but figured I may as well put one of the weirdest recipes to the test.

Steam 16 oz. bag of frozen cauliflower. Drain in colander and press out as much of water as possible. Put cauliflower in food processor (I had to use a blender as that is all I have) and pulse a few times. You want about rice sized pieces.

Add 3/4 c. egg whites and pulse a couple more times. Add 2 cups shredded mozzarella cheese, pinch of salt, dash or two of Italian seasoning, and a little onion and garlic powder. Mix ingredients with spatula inside food processor.

Line a large cookie sheet with parchment paper and grease this as well. Plop entire mixture in middle of cookie sheet and spread outwards on pan. The crust is better thin but don't let edges become wispy thin or they get too dark when cooked.

Bake at 450 degrees for 20 minutes. Cool crust and then top with sauce, your choice of toppings, and a little more mozzarella (not a lot since there is lots in the crust). Broil until toppings are done.

This was quite easy! You cut it in small pieces since it is kind of floppy (I find it to be best eaten with a fork, not your hands). I fed it to my family and only asked afterwards how they enjoyed it and they all said it was good. Hubby even liked it...and he is picky! I then told them it was a cauliflower crust and they didn't believe me!
To me it tastes a bit like an underdone pizza crust (which is that way we like it). Next time I will spread it a little thinner and see if it bakes up crispier but either way this will be on the menu often. I always feel so bloated after eating lots of pizza but just felt satisfied after this meal. It's a great way to sneak vegetables into picky kids as well!

Have you heard of Trim Healthy Mama before? Tried their plan? What do you think?