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Thursday, October 3, 2013

I can't

"Hey Mom, take a picture of all of us on the swing!" yelled Becca as she ran towards it.

Joe quickly followed.

They waited with anticipation. They waited for me to place Amy in between them.

I glanced down at Amy and swallowed the lump in my throat.

"How about we leave Amy in the stroller where she is happy and I snap a picture of you two?"
I can't do it. I can't snap a photo of my children together because there is one missing. Three children together makes the missing one even more obvious. For the past two months the pictures of my children involve one, or two, but never all three together. I can't handle that yet.  

Because never again will I be able to capture all of my children in a picture.
 
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3 comments:

  1. AnonymousOctober 3, 2013 at 2:42 PM

    This just made me cry, as I'm sure it did you as well. Stay strong. He is with you every day, always.

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  2. Leah SpringOctober 3, 2013 at 9:50 PM

    I can see him sitting there on the swing with them. It made me cry. I wish you had all your kids. My niece died of DIPG in June 2012. Four days from diagnosis until we lost her. Her mom can't take pictures of all the kids together either. Mothers shouldn't have to fill the holes in a picture with a memory.

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  3. *Jess*October 6, 2013 at 9:06 AM

    this made me cry, too. And I imagine that I would feel the exact same way.

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