Odds & Ends

Jacob and I arrived home Tuesday night after a five day chemotherapy stay. It was the same cocktail that caused a lot of nausea and vomiting, a fever, and bleeding ulcers last time around. So far it is treating him more kindly and we pray that it continues that way.

While at the hospital he had a two month CT scan and unfortunately the results were not what we were hoping for. The scan showed 4 nodules in the lungs. They could be one of two things - the cancer could be progressing even while he is undergoing this chemotherapy (this would be a very bad thing) or it could just be an infection in the lungs. They will repeat the scan in 4 weeks, which means that we won't have any clue what is going on until then. Many prayers that it is a simple infection that is gone by the next scan, please.

Otherwise, we are happy to be at home once again! The weather is beautiful and we have been spending as much time outdoors as possible. Jacob playing on the porch and helping me in the garden. Joe learning to ride his bike which was passed down from Jacob (hoping to find Jacob a new bike at garage sales next week). Becca playing with chalk and playing Littlest Pet Shop on the porch. I've been hanging up laundry, planting, watering, and just soaking up the fresh air. It's good to be home!

Even with the uncertainty of the scans and having the decision of going ahead with the stem cell transplant or not (as long as the scans are clean next month) we are at peace. It's a feeling that can't be explained, especially for someone like myself that has anxiety about everything. We just are. Having complete faith in God is making life that much easier.

Week In Review

Saturday hubby and I celebrated our 11th wedding anniversary by cleaning out the van and doing yard work. We I joked that you know you've been married a long time when you do yard work on your anniversary! Just in case you're wondering, we did go out to eat the night before...we just avoided anything in town on our actual anniversary as it was also prom night!

Sunday we took my English Bulldog to a rescue group. Believe me, I did not want to get rid of her and have been sad ever since. I raised her from a puppy and we had her for 2 1/2 years. After she nipped Becca last year, and the fact that we are gone so much due to Jacob's treatments, we came to the conclusion that it would be best to find her a new home. Sometimes it just stinks making adult decisions.

Monday I gave our other dog a bath and found a lump in her nipple. The next day she was seen at the vet where he concluded that it is almost certainly cancer. He got her into surgery that day and found a lump in another nipple as well so removed two. They will be sent off for pathology and to see if they got it all or if it may have spread. He was afraid of putting her under to preform the surgery due to her size (110 lbs.) and her age (10 years) but she came through it just fine and is recovering at home quite well. I hope he was able to get the whole tumors out but regardless I hope that she has a few good years left (she is fairly old for a St. Bernard mix).

We found out on Tuesday evening that Jacob may be ready for his stem cell harvest so he needed to go in on Wednesday to be checked. Wednesday happened to be Joe's 4th birthday. Hubby took Jacob to the hospital and I decided to go ahead with Joe's birthday plans so took him and Becca out for pizza and a stop at the cupcake shop to let him pick out some cupcakes.

Jacob wasn't ready for his stem cell harvest on Wednesday so they topped him off with a blood transfusion and platelets and sent him on his way home, telling him to be back the next day.

Hubby took Jacob to the hospital again this morning (I just couldn't face the hospital this week...especially since I will be staying with him for his 5 day chemotherapy stay next week). They needed 5 million stem cells and Jacob gave them 13 million - so it was a good harvest!

It was an emotional week for me and I'm exhausted. I spent most of today outside working in the garden, planting seeds, and sitting on the porch listening to the birds sing. Nature always helps to recharge my soul and I surely needed it today.

April Showers...

...bring May flowers.You would be amazed at how different the view from your kitchen window looks in just 30 days. Being in the hospital for so long makes you appreciate the little things - the smell of rain or food cooking, the lush landscape from a car window, digging in the dirt.

When we arrived home on Saturday it was chilly and rainy. It continued like that until today, when the sun broke free of the clouds and the air became heavy with humidity. We spent most of the day outside working in the dirt. Eating fresh radishes (the earliest that we have ever harvested them!), planting shade loving wildflower seeds behind the garage, planting seeds in pots for the front porch. Our fingernails are dirty and our hair smells like sunshine.

My peonies are blooming and we found the little white flowers pictured above by the wooden fence out back. I've never seen them before and am wondering what they are (do you know?). They came from stems that I thought were wild onions growing earlier this spring. Joe and I picked some and placed them in the kitchen windowsill, in a strange little glass globe that we found outside a few years ago. That, too, I am unsure of what it is ~ our dog likes to dig holes between the garage and shed and we are constantly finding hidden treasures unearthed ~ an old fingernail polish bottle, an arm from an old china doll, bits of glass, and the little glass bottle I made into a miniature vase. I'm assuming it was once a dump for a family's garbage, as was often the case a hundred years ago.

All I know is that it is good to be home! Jacob is feeling great, loving being home, and is eating like a little pig. We had to cut his Megace prescription (an appetite stimulant) because he was literally wanting to eat a full meal every half hour! He is enjoying the outdoors, being with his brother and sister again, sleeping in his own bed, grilled steaks, and the freedom from the hospital!

There's No Place Like Home!

That saying rings so true. We are all home and back together again. Jacob is feeling good and sitting with his brother and sister on the couch, watching a movie and crunching on pretzels. He has not stopped grinning since he arrived home.

I want to thank those of you who sent Jacob a card while in the hospital. Mail call each day was a thrill for him and your notes were so sweet. You guys are awesome for making a little boy's day brighter!

Will update more at the beginning of the week. For now I'm going to hug my kids and cuddle with my husband.

Odds and Ends

The doctors decided to finally do a scope today. After a week and a half we have answers on what is troubling Jacob. A large ulcer was seen in his intestine, with probably several more behind it (they didn't continue the scope after finding the first, moving past the first one could cause irritation that they wanted to avoid). These ulcers were probably caused due to his last chemotherapy round.

Jacob is now taking a syrup four times a day to coat and heal the ulcer(s). Because he is now on the mend round two of chemotherapy has been started this evening. This is a five day round so he should be able to go home on Saturday, making it 25 days this month that he spent in the hospital. We are all looking forward to being together again!

Jacob and I are trying to stay sane in the hospital. Trips to the library or walks down to the cafeteria. Jacob hasn't been into the Child Life crafts this visit but I try to get him to go to the playroom, even if it's just to play on the computer for awhile.

We have been watching movies together (Batteries Not Included) and television (Extreme Cheapskates is a new favorite of both of us).

Most of all, we are just looking forward to going home and hope we have a week or so at home until we need to come back for stem cell harvesting.

Groundhog Day

I've ignored this blog. What's the point of writing a post each day when it is the same thing over and over? If you have ever seen the movie Groundhog Day; such is our life! One month since hubby has been able to work, 17 days in the hospital just this month (with more to go), 9 days in isolation, 7 days without eating, one day of being hungry (yay!), 2 days of a break for myself as my husband and I did changing of the guards and I spent some time with my other two children, countless doctors and tests. Vomiting once or twice each 24 hours. Bloody stools still (more blood then stool). Zero answers. The surgeons, GI doctors, and oncologist all toss the ball amongst themselves. Telescoping intestine? Scans aren't showing that. Infection caused by chemotherapy? Maybe, but it never presents this way. Other infection? All tests have been negative. No fevers either. The word puzzling is the only conclusive answer. Jacob will be here through the weekend - hopefully improving and healing more. His five day chemotherapy will start on Monday. With this extended stay, I wanted to let you all know that if you are in the USA and would like to send a card to his hospital room, as long as it is sent within the next few days, he should be able to receive some fun at mail call each day!E-mail me at babys_mama1 "at" yahoo.com for the address, if interested. And please keep those prayers coming!

Round and Round We Go

Same story, different day. For the past two days Jacob has done while during the day, only to have intense cramping and vomiting at night. He continues to have bloody stools (about once a day). The x-ray looked better yesterday so they let him finally eat and drink - he had about 6 oz. of apple juice and a few bites of chicken noodle soup. And then he had cramps and vomiting again all night.

He is sleeping yet as I write this and will be going for an x-ray soon. While the doctors think this (and by "this" I mean that they are still leaning towards telescopic intestines but aren't ruling out an infection yet as they have no conclusive results) is resolving they aren't sure why it's better and then worse at times.

So basically, we know no more then we did on Thursday when we arrived.