My Own Boutique

For years I've dreamed of opening a children's boutique. With children and homeschooling that just wouldn't be feasible at this time. Not to mention that the high overhead of a brick and mortar store can mean little to no profit for years.

Enter the Kidizen app. 

It is a site to sell your children's outgrown clothes on. Sort of like an Etsy for children's items. 

There is a 7% fee, plus Paypal and shipping costs. Luckily, when you list an item in your shop the calculator will tell you the amount you will receive after fees. So you only have to figure in shipping costs to see what your net profit will be.

You get your own little shop (again, similar to Etsy!) and the selling process is easy. No fees to list, only if you sell an item.

The better brands mean more sales. But I have seen bundles of Carter items sell as well. It all depends on what someone is looking for.

Basically, I have my own little shop on Kidizen and only spend a couple hours a week posting items, packaging, and mailing them off. And since I started my shop in June I have made a profit of over $1,000. I sell about 6-15 items on average a week. Sometimes more, sometimes less. Most are my own children's outgrown items, but every once in awhile I find a great brand at a thrift store that isn't in my child's size and pick it up and list it. For example, some $4 sandals that I sold for $40. 

It's a fun way to make a little extra money, without needing to spend 40 hours a week at an actual storefront.

Now if only I could stop spending a portion of my proceeds at other stores on Kidizen! All my purchases through there have been amazing experiences and I find great brands and fun items that I have never heard of before.

This is not a sponsored post...I just love being able to make a little money as a stay-at-home mom and delve into my passion for children's clothing! It also makes my hubby happy, because he no longer rolls his eyes at a dress purchase of $20 when he knows I can make MORE than that reselling after our child wears it. There are some brands that just retain their value more than others, if not become worth more once it's a past season purchase that is harder to find.  
 

Weekend Links

A great post about stay-at-home parents.

A thought provoking article on children's clothing. Why such a difference between boy's vs. girl's? 

It's really not all the boy's responsibility. A different perspective.

Curl up with a bottle of wine and this movie. It's a great little "mommy moment", and just $1.27 from Redbox! A bit silly but lots of fun! 

I am off to enjoy the day with the new eleven year old in our house. Happy Birthday, Becca!  

Money/Mommy Wars

In my circle of stay-at-home moms I've gotten a bit of startled silence when mentioning that I got a part-time job. I've received a couple comments on my blog, and even an e-mail stating "You've proven yourself wrong - a family apparently can't live comfortably on a limited one income budget."

I think it hits on all sides of the "mommy wars": stay-at-home vs. working, one income vs. two when someone who is a self-proclaimed stay-at-home mom living comfortably on ( a smallish) one income mentions getting a job.

I partly did it for my sanity; when you go weeks without talking to another adult other than your husband or mom you realize that you need a social circle, even if it is just co-workers at a job that you don't particulary like. A change of pace in your day can also help your sanity, especially when your days start to remind you of the movie "Groundhog Day". My hours correspond with my husband's so the children are not in day care or having babysitters (not that there is anything wrong with that, but it's not financially smart to work a minimum wage job just to pay babysitting fees for 3 children).

I can say without a doubt that I am not doing this because we couldn't make ends meet. This is a seasonal job and will end before the baby is born. With medical bills this year and a heafty co-pay for my prenatal care due in a few months the extra money won't hurt, but we could have managed these bills without the extra money. It would mean stretching our pennies a little tighter for awhile but I figured that since this was a perfect time to work for a few months before the baby was born, get myself through winter without being stuck inside 24/7 (does anyone else here have SAD?), and get ahead on bills I decided that a seasonal job was the perfect solution.

It's funny to say that getting a job wasn't really a financial decision, as we were doing okay before.

I spoke with HR and got my hours cut to a reasonable amount and my schedule looks more manageable the next few weeks. Those are the hours I wanted in the first place!   

Seriously?

Last month when I hit the Borders $1 table one of the books I picked up was Mommywood by Tori Spelling. I didn't purchase it because I like Tori Spelling (I don't know Tori Spelling and don't recall ever watching a television show that she is in) but rather, thought it would be interesting to read a mom's point of view from Hollywood.

The first thing I got from the book is that it was mainly written for her mother. To write about how bad Tori's mother was and how she isn't going to repeat those mistakes. To point her finger at her mother (and I take it from what was written in this book that Tori also wrote all about her relationship with her mother in her first book - so she stuck it to her mom twice!). I'm not so out of touch with Hollywood to know that her relationship with her mother was bad while growing up but I found it a bit far to bring such a personal topic up throughout the whole book, especially when she had already hashed it out in her first book (apparently. I never did read her first book.).

It was interesting to read about a totally different lifestyle than my own but it also sickened me to see how far from the real world those in Hollywood truly are. Tori was able to take several weeks off from work with her first baby but after her second she said that she had to go back to work a week after giving birth because she had to support her family and couldn't afford to stay home. She later went on to say she would love to be a stay-at-home mom and maybe someday when they had enough to send their children to college. Uhm, seriously?! If Tori Spelling can't afford to stay home than no one can afford to stay home!

This is the thing that gets me. A mother either works 1. because she likes to work or likes the things that work affords or 2. Because she really has to. I have nothing against working moms! Whether you choose to work or have to work...that's your business! What bothers me is the mothers who choose to work but say such silly things as if only I could afford to stay home when they don't mean it. You know...the ones who could afford to stay home if they only cut back on their extras but choose not to. Do they say these things because it makes them feel better? Or do they say these things because they think it makes us stay-at-home moms feel better? Because it doesn't. When a working mother says something like that to me, she is also usually the working mom who has a husband who is making twice, triple, or even quadruple what we live on...and she still acts like she couldn't afford to stay at home. That's an insult. That's like me going around telling working mothers "I wish I could work outside the home, but I don't have the time to do that." That's an insult and an excuse all wrapped up in one.

Tori could afford to stay home. Just selling her stash of clothes and her house would net her enough to live comfortably in a normal suburban neighborhood for the rest of her life. What Tori means is that she can't afford her lifestyle if she were to stay home. She can afford to stay home. She can't afford to keep up her lifestyle. She chooses to keep up her lifestyle.

And that's okay! But why, oh why, did she have to say "She wishes she could afford to stay at home"? Why do women who's husbands make 3 times what my husband makes say the same thing, to me? It makes me feel angry.

We can not afford to stay at home. That is, in society's standards I can totally not afford to stay at home. I can stay at home with careful juggling of finances and creative uses of our money. I can stay at home because I choose to. This is not to say that everyone can stay at home. There truly are mothers who HAVE to work.(I'm not talking about these women.) I get that. I feel lucky that even with a limited income we are able to juggle our finances to afford to stay at home. But it also means that we are giving up a lot in order to do so.

I don't feel that a mother who lives in a McMansion and drives a $40,000 SUV and buys brand new clothes every month and goes on a fancy vacation each years has to work. You know? A woman like that chooses to work.

My whole point? Why can't women just be open about their choices? I don't go around saying "I wish I could work but..." and then list a bunch of reasons that are insulting to women who do work. I don't work because I want to be a stay-at-home mom. I'll always be open and upfront about that. I've heard women say that they love their jobs and are fulfilled with them, or wouldn't want to be home all day, or really just don't want to give up the lifestyle that they live. More power to these women...who are being honest with themselves and with people like me. It's okay to be a stay-at-home mom and it's okay to be a working mother. Why do we always have to excuse who we are or what we want to do?

Martha, over at The Path to Frugality, recently wrote about this issue. She told us that as women we should be authentic to who we are. If you like to work, want to work, choose to work you should own it! If you want to be a stay-at-home mom you should hold yourself in high esteem and realize that your worth is just as great as the working women.

Can we all agree to have no more excuses for who we are?! These mommy wars are not making the life of mommy any easier!

Your thoughts?

How Can You Afford to Stay Home?

I recently received this question/comment on an older post about affording to stay at home:

I want to be a SAHM (and soon, homeschooling, I hope) more than anything I've ever wanted. I worked part time for two years, but we struggled financially. I am now full time again (my husband and I make about $78,000 together before taxes) but our daycare is extremely expensive, I hate my job, and I spend all my spare time googling ways to cut to one income. We rent, we do not have car payments, we rarely go out to eat and never shop. The only thing is, we try to save about $1000 a month in a savings account. Problem is, if we don't do that, we'll NEVER get ahead, never be able to buy a house, will always be stressed about money. I don't know what else to do. I feel like my babies are growing so quickly, and my chance to be a SAHM, what I want more than anything in the world, is going to pass me by and then it'll be too late.
By Lynn on Can You Afford to Be a One Income Family? on 9/23/10

This is a heartbreaking comment, and an all too common one. The problem is that we live in a society where a two-income family is expected. Lifestyles around us are based on two-income families. It doesn't have to be this way, Lynn.

No one on their death bed ever said "I wish I would have bought my house sooner" or "I wish I would have had more money". I'm sure many have said "I wish I could have spent more time with my family". Which means, if your dream is to stay at home with your children (and possibly homeschool them), the time to make something change is now (or soon!).

You mention that your husband and yourself make a combined income of about $78,000 a year. You didn't mention how much of that you contribute but it seems as though much of your income goes to childcare, meaning that you don't make nearly as much as your income appears on paper. Add to that work clothing, expenses getting to and from work, maybe not as many home cooked meals or relying on pre-packaged foods due to feeling rushed for time, etc. and you may be making very little at your job. Not to mention that by working full-time you possibly don't have time to "save money" by scouting garage sales for second-hand items (therefore paying full price for new things), unable to save money on your electric/gas bills by hanging out laundry, spending more at the grocery store instead of watching sales and using coupons, etc.

You make it seem as though if you quit your job you will NEVER be able to get ahead and will always be stressing over money. We have no idea what the future holds - your husband could get a nice raise or someday find a job that pays much more. You could find a job that you are able to do at home. Never say never. You may not be able to put $1,000 into savings each month but there should be something left over to save. Your dream house goal may be set back a bit, but you will be meeting an immediate dream of staying home with your children. That is something that you can never "re-do".

With that said, I can't tell you that you won't be stressing over money. It sounds like you are already stressing over money though, just in a different way. You'll just be trading one stress for another so shouldn't be too different!

My advice to you to see if you can do this is to take your monthly income (just yours!) and pay all your "work related expenses" out of your income for one month. Childcare costs. Any eating out that you did because you were too tired to cook. Overspending at the grocery store that happened because you were relying on packaged foods too much due to being on a tight schedule. Gas for your vehicle. New clothing or other items that could have been bought used or on sale that you didn't have time to do because you were busy at work or tired from being gone all day. Your lunch as well as your husband's lunch costs, which could have been packaged at home had you had extra time (that is, if you don't already bring your own lunches). Think of any other work related costs and subtract those as well. Add in the fact that you are paying more income taxes due to the fact that you are at a higher income bracket at the moment.

Sit down at the end of the month and figure out how much you are left with out of your pay. Is it $900? $500? Less than that? Is 40 hours a week of work and stress worth $500 a month in actual pay?! All those other expenses could be eliminated if you were a stay-at-home mom. You could find ways to save or make $500 a month if you were a stay-at-home mom.

I wish you all the best of luck and would be interested in seeing what you decide after tracking your expenses for one month.

Does anyone else have advice for Lynn or other women with the same question?