Eight Years Ago...

...I became a mother when I gave birth to a 7 lb. 15 oz. beautiful little girl.

Eight years later I am the mother of a beautiful BIG girl.

Happy Birthday Becca!

Not Me! Monday

Last week we did not seem to misplace the kid's reading lesson book. We did not search the house for two days looking for it. I did not about give up and give in to ordering another when we found it on top of the kid's wooden kitchen set. We did not spend that evening catching up on reading lessons!

I did not have a totally different post planned for this morning, only to not be able to find my camera anywhere. Since my post was planned around pictures it is not me who has to postpone that post until the camera is found.

I did not sort through our shoes in order to put the summer ones away, only to find several lone shoes with no partner. This has not been an ongoing problem in our house and I have not come to believe that not only is their a sock monster in my dryer but also a shoe monster somewhere in the house.

I did not come to realize that we lose a lot of things in this house and that it may be more productive to have our own Lost And Found box in the house. Because, it does not seem, that we loose a lot but rarely find those items. We may or may not have a black hole in our midst!

Randomness

In the past week and a half we have had one day with sun. We made the most of that day by walking to the library and stopping at a park.
The rest of the days are reminiscent of winter days and a bit unsettling. For someone who despises the long cold days of winter I live in an unlikely place...one where winter can last 6 months! We've been spending a lot of our time on school work and arts and crafts. My table is full of painted acorns at the moment.
We are getting ready for Jacob's Make A Wish trip to Disney World which is coming up very soon. The one and only time I have flown was in 2000 so I'm researching all the TSA rules to make sure we pack correctly. Most of us are excited about flying but we have one holdout in the family who is a bit hesitant. The vacation itself just gets more and more exciting - the resort itself now sounds as much fun as Disney World...horseback riding, putt putt golf, and our own villa! The kids are thrilled and I love their excitement!
I've finally finished switching over the kid's wardrobe to fall/winter and packed away their summer stuff, except for their outgrown items which I listed on ThredUp (sorry, my boxes have already been picked but by clicking on the link above and signing up with a new account you will get $5 to spend on your first box!). Switching over clothing takes me such a long time so I asked on the Trenches Of Mommyhood Facebook page how you all organize and received some good tips from you all!

I'm already shopping for Christmas and have a lot already hidden away. Christmas will be different this year, but more about that later. I've mainly been shopping on Amazon and using all the Swagbucks that I've earned to get free $5 Amazon cards. I've looked through my history and in the past two years I've earned over $300 in Amazon giftcards through Swagbucks, which is incredible considering that I only earn them by doing the regular internet searches that I always did. If you haven't signed up yet, do so now through 10/3 and get 100 Swagbucks just for signing up by entering the code BIGTIMEBUCKS. There are all types of rewards but I go for the $5 Amazon cards, which are 450 swagbucks. I can easily earn at least one $5 card a month by using the search engine, though I typically earn more. All I do is instead of using my browser to get to a site I use the search engine - it takes no more time and I often win several times a day this way.

A friend recently shared with me a website that is an excellent resource for families looking for family friendly movies. Check out the Movieguide here. (Thanks, Amy!)

Now I'm off to make the kids some apple cider and myself some raspberry leaf tea. It's chilly and the wind is howling outside so it really is the type of weather that calls for a stiff hot drink.

Tolerance for All...

Politically Correct. Live and let live. Coexist. It all sounds fine and dandy. Until you realize that it's tolerance for all...except Christian beliefs.
Many who spout live and let live have no tolerance for those who have religious beliefs that differ from their views. The main point of tolerance is that you accept the fact that people are different and have views other than your own. It's funny how that rarely actually comes into play.

Christians are accused of being judgmental, close-minded, even stupid and ignorant...just because they have differing views. The worst thing that Christians are now called is hateful. Society now tells us that you must be politically correct in order to be a loving person.

An example is homosexuality. It's "politically correct" to accept marriage of same-sex couples. It's hateful to admit that you do not agree with homosexuality. And no matter how much a Christian could explain their beliefs they will be deemed hateful and ignorant. Those types of beliefs won't be tolerated...kind of ironic, isn't it?

I agree, there are groups that call themselves "Christian" that are horribly mean and hateful. The group that gathers outside of soldiers funerals to protest, the ones who tout hatred against homosexuals. It's horrid and makes Christians look horrid...but those groups are NOT Christian. No Christian group will promote hate.

With that said, being against something does not necessarily mean hate. I'm against pre-marital sex but that doesn't mean if one of my children does this that I will love them less. I'm against abortion but that doesn't mean that I hate the women who have had one. I'm against homosexuality but that doesn't mean that if a same sex couple moved in next door that I wouldn't welcome them into the neighborhood any less than any other couple. Because it's truly possible to not agree with a lifestyle and yet to still love the person with that lifestyle. This seems to go beyond most people's reasoning, and that is why we Christians are still considered ignorant. It seems you must accept a lifestyle in order to love people.

And yet, any parent, can tell you that no matter what their child does, they will always love their child. A teenager may go out partying or run away...but a parent won't stop loving that child for that. The parent may not agree with what their child is doing, but they love their child nonetheless. Why is it easy to comprehend this but not realize that the love and understanding can be had for everyone around them? I may not agree with everyone's choices, but I have no hate for anyone.

What do you think? Is our society more or less tolerant now that everything is politically correct? Are Christian views intolerant?

Edited to add: The above examples of what I don't agree with are just a few of the examples I could come up with. I am not proclaiming that they are the worst and that I am sitting in judgment on my high-horse. I also don't agree with lying, swearing, judging others, self-entitlement, and so on...and of course I have been guilty of all that at one time or another. That doesn't mean that I agree it's right. Since we all sin...my point was that it IS possible to love the sinner and yet not the sin.

That's What Brothers are For...

Yesterday, when Becca returned home from getting her haircut, Jacob met her at the door and remarked "Becca, you're beautiful!"
What a sweetheart he is!

Not Me! Monday

We live in a small town where our grocery store has "baggers". They bag your groceries, follow you to your car, and load the groceries in your vehicle. Typically they are teenage males. So it was not I who was in the middle of a conversation about the weather (they seem to have a one track mind; all their conversations are about the weather) when I commented that the trunk must be stuck on our car. I did not repeatably click the key fob trying to get the trunk open, as the bags in the bag boys arms seemed to get heavier, then loudly remark that the battery in the key fob must be dead.

I did not suddenly have the revelation that this wasn't my car and turn wildly around to see my car parked in a completely different area of the parking lot. I didn't stumble over my words as I announced that "Gee, this is the wrong car" as I backed slowly away from the almost identical car (why did I not notice that the car I was trying to steal had a spoiler on the back when ours doesn't?!) only to have a lady laugh at me across the parking lot and yell "At least I'm not the only one who does that!" drawing several stares my way.

On the long trek to my car I did not mumble to the bag boy that I didn't typically drive my husband's car to the store and that I did typically park in the area that the other car was in, trying to make him understand only to have him give me quizzical side way looks.

When I reached my car I did not pop the trunk and loudly proclaim that "You have to admit that the cars look similar." I did not stop and stare at him until he admitted that they did. I was not totally relieved when he finished loading my groceries and hightailed it away from the crazy lady back into the store so that I could slide behind the wheel of the car to hide my red face.

It wasn't later that week that I was at our local Wal-Mart, wondering what the smell was throughout the store. I did not, of course, realize at the end of the shopping that it was me. There is no way that I walked around smelling dog poo that was on my shoe! Nope, not me!!

Savings

A money question I received from one of my readers is:

I stay at home with the kids, and my husband was out of work for a long time, but is now working again (hooray!) so we still have some catching up to do, but I really want to try to set aside a certain percentage of his pay to tuck away. And I figure now is a good time to start doing it because this is income we haven't had in a long time so we shouldn't miss the percentage since we haven't had it. What do you think is a good percent to save?

It's a very good question because many people have some "catching up" to do but focus their attempts on that, and only that, instead of also focusing on putting some money into savings. The reason that setting some money aside, even while paying back debt, is that if you don't have something to fall back on you will have a vicious circle of debt. There are always going to be times when you will need a little extra (car repairs, a broken washing machine, etc.). If you are so focused on paying back debt that you forgo setting aside any money, you will need to use those credit cards once again to pay for an unexpected expense; meaning that it will be very difficult to get ahead.

Continue to do the good work of paying back your debts but "pay yourself" a little each month as well. A good rule of thumb for someone who is just getting back on their feet, or one who has very little extra month, is to start small. Even if it is as small as 1-2% of each paycheck. It sounds like such a small amount...so small in fact that you very well may think that it is pointless...but it adds up over time and it is better than nothing. For example, someone bringing home $1,000 bi-weekly will put $10 in savings bi-weekly (or $20 monthly) if doing 1%. By the end of the year they will have $240 in a savings account. Not a lot, but a whole lot better than no savings at all! So I urge everyone, even those that think there is no room to save, to put the very minimum of 1% of their pay in savings each month.

For those who think they can save a little more, I would strive for 3-5% to begin with. Someone making $1,000 bi-weekly would then be putting $30-$50 in savings bi-weekly ($60-$100 monthly). This is a reasonable goal and your savings will begin to add up. If you notice within a few months that you think you can up the savings, go up from there.

Saving the percentage of your paycheck is not the hard part. The hard part is not touching your savings except for an emergency. This is the part that gets tricky. Many people will do great with saving for a month or two but then dip into it for something that is not a necessity and get bummed out with an empty savings account and stop saving altogether (it's similar to being on a diet and being gung-ho at first, only to binge and gain the weight back and stop dieting because of that). Savings must not be thought of as "money" but rather as an "emergency fund".

Savings from an emergency fund should only be used for emergencies or unexpected expenses. Not for dipping into for a night out on the town, a new pair of shoes, a trip, or anything that is a "choice" and not a must. I have often remarked "We don't have money for that this week" to my husband or a friend. It doesn't actually mean that we don't have money, because we do keep a certain amount in savings...but it means that we don't have money in our checking account for that and if it isn't a necessity I'm not going to take out from savings for it...in my mind if it isn't in our checking account that week we don't have money for it. I'm going to contradict myself a bit now when I say that it doesn't mean that we never use our savings for a little fun money. Because we do. The thing is though, that in our minds we have a set number that our savings should always be at for an emergency. If our funds tend to get a little above that we have no qualms taking a little out for a fun birthday gift for the kids or a fun little day trip. But we only do so if our savings funds is already at our goal, if it's below our goal we don't touch it for fun at all. Savings just won't work if you use it as a flexible account.

With that said, what is a reasonable savings goal for a typical family? Most financial experts stress that a good savings amount is two to six months worth of income. That's a lofty goal and we tend to fall on the smaller side of that amount. It's a nest egg that give you a little breathing room if you are injured and out of work, if your car breaks down and needs a major overhaul, if the roof on your house needs redone, the furnace needs replacing, etc.). It can seem a daunting task at first but you must pace yourself. It can take years to reach your goal but even a journey of a thousand miles begins with one step. If an emergency does arise and you spend much of the savings that you accumulated, you start again and add to it until it reaches your goal once again (or rises above your goal!). It's a never ending battle but it's the only way that you can grow (and keep!) a savings account.