Forgiven

After a son does the unthinkable, how can a mother go on?

On October 2, 2006, a gunman entered an Amish one-room schoolhouse, shooting ten girls, killing five, then finally taking his own life. This is his mother's story. Not only did she lose her precious son through suicide, but she also lost her understanding of him as an honorable man. Forgiven by Terri Roberts with Jeanette Windle

I'm sure we all remember hearing about the Amish schoolhouse shooting in 2006. Imagine being the mother of that shooter. Or of any shooter. I know that upon hearing of a tragedy I think "What makes someone do such a thing?" Roberts still wonders that about her own son. She wracked her brain for an answer, for a reason. Was it his upbringing? Why didn't she notice that something was bothering him, that something was wrong?

After reading this book you come to the conclusion that it's not always an upbringing that causes someone to have a darkness. It's not necessarily an event that turns someone to the dark side. Sometimes it just happens. Or as Henry, one of Robert's Amish neighbors puts it, on page 54: "I think the devil used your boy." 

It's hard enough losing a child, as so many of these Amish families did that day. Roberts not only lost her child, when he took his own life, but she also has the grief of knowing he took so many innocent lives with him. I imagine that in many of these situations, a gunman's family would feel complete isolation and blame and hate. Because the Amish community was so swift in forgiving not only Charlie (the shooter) but also the whole family by default it was healing for everyone involved, including the whole United States when they saw that forgiveness.

This book gives us a look into the life of what a gunman leaves behind in his own life. A father. A mother. Brothers. Sisters. Wives. Children. His own and those of the lives he takes.

Roberts explains how the forgiveness of the Amish helped her forgive her own son. While thankfully most of us will not ever have to deal with such a horrible tragedy such as this, there will be instances in our lives that we do need to offer forgiveness.


It was a very eye-opening book.

This book was given to me by Bethany House Publishing in exchange for my honest review. 
 

The Weekend

Weekend Thankfulness:

*Exploring the downtown Christmas window walk with my sweet kiddos and cousin

*Grandma taking the kids to a movie which meant a walk around the neighborhood with hubby and dog (last time we walked sans kids was probably 6 years ago!)

*A family lunch together at the Chinese restaurant and being told "Your check has already been taken care of"

*McDonald's shakes for the kids which Jacob treated them to from a gift card he had received for his birthday in 2013 which I had been saving for a special time. A "just because" time seemed perfect - the rest of the card will be used on Jacob's birthday.

Weekend Thoughts:

*Our community is in an uproar now this season since the public school has decided that the yearly Christmas program is now just a "holiday" program and all songs pertaining to faith, Jesus, or Christianity will not be allowed. I'm curious to see how it plays out - I know the school board meeting tonight will be a lively one.

One person, one opposing view can cause so much strife. I have a friend who donated play equipment to a city park in honor of the twins that she lost. Parents are able to buy bricks engraved with their own children's names to be placed in the park and one picture option for the bricks was a cross. One person in her community caused so much dissension for the city stating that crosses have no place in a park (not even on a child's memorial brick!) that they had to take that option off the table. Whatever happened to the live and let live mentality?

 "You will be hated by all because of My name, but it is the one who has endured to the end who will be saved." Matthew 10:22

It makes me glad to homeschool. Where we don't have to be "politically correct".      

St. Nicolas Day

Growing up we always celebrated St. Nicolas Day (December 6th) by placing our shoes on the doorstep and waiting for St. Nicolas to fill them with little gifts. My brother and I would try to "catch" my mom or dad filling the shoes but we never once did. 

"St. Nicholas is Nicholas of Myra, whose life spanned from the late third to the mid fourth centuries. He lived in present-day southern Turkey. 

The reputation of being a man of good deeds preceded him throughout the Christian world; some of the acts attributed to St. Nicholas include him providing dowries for three young women to save them from falling into prostitution, saving innocent people from execution, and feeding the poor during famines.

He strongly lived out Jesus' command to 'give all you have to the poor' and he did so, helping those who were most vulnerable: women and the poor. He lived the command to 'love your neighbor as yourself' by example." (source)  

St. Nicolas was said to have dropped little treasures in shoes of the poor when they were left at the door step at night, hence the reason so many use shoes, though several others fill their family stockings, instead of waiting until Christmas. The tradition varies with each family, with each culture.

We put the shoes on the doorstep or under the tree. It's filled with simple little trinkets, really. This year it's a piece of chocolate, some warm socks, and chap stick. And yet the kids love it. We tell the story of St. Nicolas beforehand and the excitement is palpable.

It's a way to make advent a more important time than just focusing on Christmas Day. What are some of your family traditions?    
 

Picture Thoughts

Every single morning I find Amy and Mr. Bean snuggling on the couch for a bit. 

Though he is a sweet cat, he usually won't come willingly to cuddle, except for the mornings for some reason. So this is the daily morning scene.

Smiles in pictures are rare for this girl. Though she is all smiles before, as well as after, the camera is in her face - she immediately poses for a photo by not smiling when she sees a camera. I call her my natural born model because she always does the model face when she sees a camera. Funny girl.

I've had people comment on where pictures of the other kids are as their photos are few and far between. I respect the fact that Becca often doesn't want her picture taken and even more rarely wants it to be posted to Facebook or my blog. And Joe is becoming much the same. We adults grew up without the easy access to cameras and immediate photos. I think that's a good thing. I'm not going to force my kids to get their photo taken if they don't enjoy it or post it online without their permission. I'll take photos as long as they will enjoy it and then keep the majority of their photos for family albums without plastering them online.

There is a balance between oversharing on a blog/Facebook. When it comes to my kiddos they do have a say in what I will or will not share about them. As goes for my husband as well - I will ask him before posting a photo or sharing thoughts which involve him. :) It's just the way we roll. In case you're wondering.    

Beautiful

Trim Healthy Mama Cookbook

I recently reviewed the Trim Healthy Mama Plan and now have the chance to review the cookbook. While I do have the 600+ page original book I do like how the separate books make this plan easier to research and follow.

What I especially enjoy about this updated cookbook is that the pages are glossy (perfect for in the kitchen!) and there are pictures, which I always love in a cookbook. Some new tried and true recipes from those on the plan have also been added to the book. 

While I appreciate that a lot of the recipes are thrifty the thing I dislike, and noticed years ago when I first started the plan, is some of the special foods that are included in the recipes are expensive and/or hard to find. Items like mct oil, ghee, pressed peanut flour, etc. While these items can be substituted with other items, they won't be so "on plan" then. The authors actually have a baking line for sale now and I feel they press these items a little too much, when the previous cookbook was more about finding alternative and cheaper products.

I do look forward to trying more of the recipes now that I can see photos of the food - it makes the recipes seem more appetizing so that is a good thing! :) 

This book was given to me by Blogging for Books in exchange for my honest opinion. 
 

Real

I've always loved this quote from The Velveteen Rabbit. Even more so these past few years.

Being immersed in a community of women and men who have lost a child is not something one would choose to do. It's an exclusive club which only the broken, battered, and shattered join. No one wants to be in this club. We all wish we could claw our way out but forever we will be the bereaved parents. Forever.

 The beauty in these people is real. I feel that when a piece of you is in heaven that it does radiate from within. The cracks within your heart illuminate more light than before. It's a catch 22 - we want our children back with all our hearts, but their absence has taught us so much. 

They taught us to be real.